According to a survey, only 14% of couples sleep in separate beds every night. And while many of us might believe in the saying “couples who sleep apart grow apart” there are studies that show the opposite is actually true.
We at Bright Side believe that there are no wrong or right sleep arrangements, because to some, sleeping in different beds can be as pleasing as for others sharing a bed with their partner.
A poor night’s sleep can turn lovers into fighters.
According to research, sharing a bed with a partner that has restless sleep behavior can deprive you of 49 minutes of sleep each night. And, when one partner doesn’t get a proper night’s sleep because of the other, it will most likely result in a conflict between them the next day.
Actually, the study even confirmed that couples who tend to have a poor night’s sleep have more severe and more frequent fights than those who wake up well-rested. People who get a good night’s sleep, on the other hand, are more likely to be in a good mood, have lower stress levels, and be more patient.
Resenting your partner because you can’t get a good night’s sleep can be destructive to the relationship.
Snoring, fidgeting, and bed or blanket hogging are just a few of many reasons why some couples choose to sleep in different beds or even in different bedrooms. Lying awake listening to your partner snoring while you beat yourself up to fall asleep can lead to a build-up of anger, tension, and resentment toward your partner.
According to Jennifer Adams, author of Sleeping Apart Not Falling Apart, sleeping in a separate bedroom can even help a relationship thrive because both partners are not sleep deprived.
Each partner can tailor their sleeping conditions to their heart’s content.
Tina Cooper, a licensed social worker, sleeps in different bedrooms with her partner because of their opposite sleeping habits. “I’m a night owl, he’s an early bird. I need soothing sounds to fall asleep, and he likes silence. He likes a hard mattress, and I like soft and full of pillows. And because I don’t like the early day’s sunlight, my boyfriend gave me the master bedroom which gets less light and he has the second largest room that gets the sunrise he loves.”
How you spend the nighttime in your shared bedroom with your partner can also influence your daytime functioning, marital satisfaction, and psychological and physical health. And when 2 people with different bedtime preferences and nighttime schedules end up together, changing themselves just to please their partner’s needs might harm their relationship in the long run.
Sleeping in different bedrooms with your partner means that the 2 of you will have a place just for yourselves where you can relax after an exhausting day. This way, both of you can satisfy your needs without tiptoeing around and worrying about whether your partner might wake up because you want to watch the latest episode of your show before bed.
Even if you don’t remember waking up, disturbed sleep can have a negative impact on your overall health.
During the night, our brain cycles through the stages of sleep several times: light sleep, deep sleep, and REM (Rapid eye movement sleep). But when you interrupt the cycle by waking up during the night, it means that your brain spends more time in the light sleep stage and misses out on REM. And without sufficient REM your emotional well-being and cognitive performance suffer.
Interrupted sleep can also have short and long-term health consequences, like hypertension, weight-related issues, mental health problems, reduced quality of life, and other health-related issues.
People on Reddit share why they decided to sleep separately with their partner.
- “Because a good night’s sleep is more romantic than sharing a bed. I snore and toss and turn. He gives off literal village levels of heat in his sleep and I can’t stand the heat. I read, he can’t stand light. We keep different hours to an extent. A million reasons. We get along so much better this way.” — crankyweasels
- “My partner and I have completely separate bedrooms. We ’sleepover’ occasionally in each other’s rooms. However, we both sleep exponentially better apart. He’s a night owl and I’m an early bird. He wants only one sheet on him, I want 10 lbs of blankets. In addition, having a separate room allows me to decorate it however I want, have my own personal space, and keep it to the level of cleanliness I prefer. People look at us sideways when I mention the separate rooms thing, but it’s been a game-changer.” — eriasana
- “Different sleep cycles due to different work schedules. We are still madly in love and we both agreed to this because it’s the best for both of us.” — AFishInATank
- “Early in our relationship, 90% of our fights occurred in the bedroom. I like to sleep in a cold room with the fan on and white noise like a box fan. I also like to go to sleep with the TV on. She likes to sleep in a warm, still, cave in complete silence and darkness. We started sleeping in separate rooms and all of a sudden 90% of our fights stopped. Also, because we were getting real sleep, other fights turned more into heated discussions.” — ttc8420
What are your sleeping arrangements with your partner? Do you believe sleeping in different beds can help a relationship thrive?
Donna Mills became a mom at 54 & found new love at 60 – At 82 she’s still an iconic blonde & looks radiant
Actress Donna Mills is one of those women who are gifted with exceptional beauty. No matter how many years pass by, they still look as gorgeous as ever.
Her looks, along with her talent, helped Mills become a household name. From the moment she landed a role on the CBS daytime soap opera The Secret Storm in 1966, it was obvious she was meant for great things. As all eyes were on her, her career skyrocketed with the iconic role of scheming, manipulative vixen Abby Cunningham on the long-running primetime soap opera Knots Landing and a major recurring guest-starring role in the popular soap opera General Hospital.
At the same time as her career blossomed, Mills was also trying to find love. Eventually, she started a relationship with guitarist Richard Holland, the ex-husband of singer Chaka Khan with whom he had a son, Damian. Many believed that Mills and Holland made a somewhat odd couple as their personalities were very different. She perceived herself as an active and motivated go-getter, while Holland rarely found motivation to do things. Those close to him always described him as laid back.
The public even believed that he was with her for her money and the comfort she provided for him. Shortly after they started a relationship, Holland settled with Mills in her $1.5 million mansion where she prepared a room for his son who visited them and sometimes stayed with them over the weekends.
The two stayed together and she always considered their relationship “turbulent.” During the 20 years they were going on and off, they never started a family or had a child on their own.
Mills was way too busy building her career and never felt like something was missing in her life, until she reached 54 and decided she wanted to become a mother. Many criticized her decision, saying it was late for her to embark on such a journey as parenthood, but Mills was determined to have a child. In 1994, at the height of her acting career, Mills adopted daughter Chloe, who was just four days old.
The role of a mother was so fitting to Mills that she made a shocking decision to put her career on hold and focus on raising her baby girl.
Even today, 28 years after Chloe entered her life, their mother-daughter bond is as strong as ever.
Chloe is a celebrity in her own right. She is an influencer and a model, as well as a member of the popular California-based arts, politics and media club Soho House. She’s dating musician Bailey Joshua.
Just like her daughter, Mills found love herself. Although her relationship with Holland was an unstable one, the Knots Landing star never lost hope of falling in love again. For the last 20 years, she’s been together with another Hollywood star, actor and producer Larry Gilman, whom she describes as her soul mate.
He is best known for his roles in the television series Texas Rangers between 1980 to 1981, the feature film Secrets, and the popular CBS war comedy-drama television series, M*A*S*H.
In 2015, he surprised her with a vineyard.
Recently, Mills posed alongside two other stars of her kind, Linda Gray and Joan Collins. The three 80s lead women appeared radiant and glowing, leaving their fans in awe.
It’s safe to say that the three actresses defy age.
The trio had come together for a magazine shoot, as was evident from Mills’ caption, which read:
“What a delight working with these lovely ladies. Thank you Hello Magazine @hellomag for a terrific story in your latest issue.”
Mills was dressed in a sparkling pink outfit, while Collins stunned in a gorgeous black dress and Gray opted for a shimmery gray and silver attire.
As expected, the post attracted the attention of many who dubbed the three ladies “icons,” “soap queens,” and “legends.”
“Dallas, Dynasty & Knots Landing in one frame. These Iconic ladies made those shows!” a fan wrote.
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