Marriage has its ups and downs, but there’s always space for laughter. The daily moments between husbands and wives can be heartwarming and funny, as shown in these jokes.
From surprising notes to clever replies, these seven jokes showcase the playful side of marriage. Whether you’re married or just enjoy a good laugh, these stories will make you nod in agreement and chuckle at their unexpected turns.
1 The Note Under the Bed
In any marriage, there can be moments of frustration, especially when one spouse feels unappreciated. This joke takes that idea to the extreme when a wife tries to teach her husband a lesson with a note, only to be shocked by his reaction.
A woman, upset that her husband was late coming home again, left a note saying, “I’ve had enough and left you. Don’t bother looking for me.” She then hid under the bed to see how he would react.
After a short time, the husband came home. She could hear him in the kitchen and saw him go to the dresser to pick up the note. After a few minutes, he wrote something on it and called someone.
“She’s finally gone… Yes, I know, about time, right? I’m coming to see you. Put on that sexy nightie. I love you… Can’t wait to see you… We’ll do all the fun things you like.”
He hung up, grabbed his keys, and left. When she came out from under the bed, furious and in tears, she grabbed the note to see what he wrote…
“I can see your feet. We’re out of bread. Be back in five minutes.”
2 The Pharmacist’s Explanation
Sometimes, simple misunderstandings can blow up, leading to confrontations. This joke humorously shows how quickly a situation can escalate when assumptions are made, only for the truth to make everyone laugh.
When a husband came home, he found his wife crying. She said, “The pharmacist insulted me on the phone this morning!”
Angry, the husband drove to the pharmacy to confront the pharmacist and demand an apology. But before he could speak, the pharmacist said, “Wait, let me explain. This morning, my alarm didn’t go off, and I woke up late.”
“I skipped breakfast and rushed to the car, only to realize I locked my house and car keys inside. I had to break a window to get my keys. Then I drove too fast and got a speeding ticket. While driving to work, I had a flat tire. By the time I opened the pharmacy, there was already a line. And the phone wouldn’t stop ringing.”
He added, “I had to break a roll of coins to make change, but they spilled everywhere. When I stood up, I hit my head on the cash drawer, and all the perfume bottles fell and broke. Then the phone rang, and it was your wife. She wanted to know how to use a rectal thermometer, and all I did was tell her.”
3 The Family Secret
Family secrets can be surprising and funny. In this joke, a young man is excited about his upcoming marriage until his father reveals some shocking news, leading to a hilarious twist.
One Sunday morning, George rushed into the living room and shouted, “Dad! Mom! I have great news! I’m marrying the most beautiful girl in town. She lives a block away, and her name is Susan.”
Later, George’s dad pulled him aside and said, “Son, we need to talk. Look at your mom. We’ve been married for 30 years. She’s a great wife and mom, but she’s not very exciting. I used to cheat on her, and Susan is your half-sister, so you can’t marry her.”
George was heartbroken. After eight months, he started dating again. A year later, he proudly said, “Diane said yes! We’re getting married in June.”
Again, his father pulled him aside to share more bad news. “Diane is your half-sister too, George. I’m sorry.”
George was furious! He went to his mother with what his father said. “Dad is ruining my life. I guess I’ll never get married. Every time I like a girl, Dad says she’s my half-sister.”
His mother laughed and said, “Don’t listen to him. He’s not really your father.”
4 The Fried Eggs Incident
Everyday tasks like cooking breakfast can lead to funny arguments between spouses. This joke turns a simple breakfast into a humorous look at how we all sometimes feel the need to give advice, especially when the roles are reversed.
A wife was making fried eggs for breakfast when her husband burst into the kitchen.
“Careful!” he said. “Put in more butter! You’re cooking too many at once! Turn them! We need more butter! Oh no, they’re going to stick! Be careful! You never listen to me when you cook! Hurry! Don’t forget to salt them!”
The wife stared at him. “What’s wrong with you? You think I don’t know how to fry eggs?”
The husband calmly replied, “Sure you do. I just wanted to show you how it feels when I’m driving.”
5 The Supermarket Strategy
Shopping in a busy supermarket can be stressful, especially if you lose track of your spouse. This joke shows how resourceful one husband can be when looking for his wife, with a touch of humor.
In a supermarket, Ivan lost sight of his wife. He approached a young lady and asked, “Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?”
“Why?” asked the lady, confused by Ivan’s request.
“It’s always the same. As soon as I start talking to a pretty woman, my wife pops up out of nowhere.”
The Flu Revelation
Being stuck at home with the flu is never fun, but this joke shows how a man’s sickness revealed his wife’s true feelings in a surprising and funny way. Sometimes love can be found in unexpected situations.
A man visited a friend who had been sick with the flu for weeks.
“How was it?” the man asked.
“Surprisingly wonderful,” the friend replied.
“How so?” the man asked.
“Well, I found out how much my wife loves me and how happy she is to have me home.”
“How do you know?”
“Every time the postman, the milkman, or the trash collector comes by, she runs out shouting, ‘My husband is home! My husband is home!’”
The Late-Night Approach
Sometimes sneaking in late after a night out doesn’t go as planned. In this joke, two husbands compare how they deal with their wives when they come home late, revealing that a more direct approach can be the best way.
Two married friends were out drinking when one said, “I don’t know what to do. When I come home after drinking, I turn off the headlights before I get to the driveway. I coast into the garage, take off my shoes before entering the house, sneak upstairs, change in the bathroom, and slip into bed, and my wife still wakes up and yells at me for staying out too late!”
His friend replied, “You’re doing it wrong. I drive into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, flush the toilet loudly, throw my shoes in the closet, undress in the bedroom, and jump into bed saying, ‘Do you want to make love?’ And every time, she acts like she’s sound asleep!”
Need a Pick-Me-Up? These Inspiring Stories Will Make Your Day Bright
Three people’s lives become connected through hope. From a boy’s lemonade stand to a grandmother’s special gift, see how acts of kindness and strong will can create life-changing results.
Life’s biggest changes often start with the smallest actions—a kind gesture, a cherished memory, or a simple dream pursued with effort. These three stories show how everyday moments can spark amazing transformations, reminding us that even in tough times, there is always a chance for light and hope.
Max’s Journey Home
Max had been living on the streets for as long as he could remember, though his memory wasn’t clear. His past was a blur, and all he had was the present: the cold pavement, the noise of the city, and a tattoo on his hand. This tattoo, with its intricate design, felt familiar but distant. It was the only connection to a life he had lost.
Despite his hard circumstances, Max never gave up. Each day, he wandered around asking people if they had any small jobs he could do. He wasn’t asking for charity, just work. “Anything you need? Just something for a meal,” he’d ask. Some people ignored him, others turned him away, but a few, noticing his sincerity, gave him jobs like sweeping or carrying groceries.
With the money he earned, Max bought clean clothes from thrift stores. Every Sunday, he made sure to look presentable enough to attend church. It wasn’t just about fitting in; it was about his faith. He believed that God hadn’t forgotten him.
One Sunday, something incredible happened. Max stood quietly in the back of the church as the priest began the service. Suddenly, a man in a sharp black suit walked in. His eyes landed on Max’s tattooed hand. The man’s expression changed to one of shock. He rolled up his sleeve to reveal the same tattoo on his own wrist. Rushing over to Max, the man said, “Max? Is that really you?”
Max looked up, confused. “Do I know you?”
The man smiled through tears. “Max, it’s me, Patrick! We went to school together. Remember our matching tattoos? We promised to stay friends.”
Max blinked, the name triggering a faint memory. “Patrick…” he murmured.
“That’s right!” Patrick replied. “We were like brothers. What happened to you? We lost touch after graduation.”
Max shook his head. “I don’t remember much. One day, I woke up, and everything was gone—my memory, my life. All I had was this tattoo.”
Patrick placed a hand on Max’s shoulder. “Well, that ends today. You’re coming with me. We’ll figure this out.”
Max hesitated, unsure. “I’ve been like this for so long. I wouldn’t know where to start.”
Patrick reassured him, “Start by coming home with me. You can stay with me until we figure things out. And don’t worry—my company could use someone with your work ethic. We’ll find you a role.”
For the first time in years, Max felt hope. “You’d do that for me?”
“Of course, Max. You’re family.”
After the service, Patrick took Max home. At Patrick’s apartment, Max was overwhelmed by the warmth and comfort. Patrick gave him fresh clothes and told him, “Take a shower, get cleaned up. Tomorrow, we’ll see a doctor about your memory.”
Max nodded, deeply grateful. “Thank you, Patrick. I don’t know how to repay you.”
Patrick smiled. “Just get better, Max. That’s all I want.”
Over the next few weeks, Max slowly rebuilt his life with Patrick’s help. He started working at Patrick’s company, and as his memory returned, so did his confidence. One evening, as they sat together, Max finally said, “I remember now. I remember who I am.”
Patrick smiled. “Welcome back, Max. It’s good to have you home.”
Max nodded, tears of joy in his eyes. “It’s good to be home.”
And with that, Max knew he had truly found his way back.
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