Marriage has its ups and downs, but there’s always space for laughter. The daily moments between husbands and wives can be heartwarming and funny, as shown in these jokes.
From surprising notes to clever replies, these seven jokes showcase the playful side of marriage. Whether you’re married or just enjoy a good laugh, these stories will make you nod in agreement and chuckle at their unexpected turns.
1 The Note Under the Bed
In any marriage, there can be moments of frustration, especially when one spouse feels unappreciated. This joke takes that idea to the extreme when a wife tries to teach her husband a lesson with a note, only to be shocked by his reaction.
A woman, upset that her husband was late coming home again, left a note saying, “I’ve had enough and left you. Don’t bother looking for me.” She then hid under the bed to see how he would react.
After a short time, the husband came home. She could hear him in the kitchen and saw him go to the dresser to pick up the note. After a few minutes, he wrote something on it and called someone.
“She’s finally gone… Yes, I know, about time, right? I’m coming to see you. Put on that sexy nightie. I love you… Can’t wait to see you… We’ll do all the fun things you like.”
He hung up, grabbed his keys, and left. When she came out from under the bed, furious and in tears, she grabbed the note to see what he wrote…
“I can see your feet. We’re out of bread. Be back in five minutes.”
2 The Pharmacist’s Explanation
Sometimes, simple misunderstandings can blow up, leading to confrontations. This joke humorously shows how quickly a situation can escalate when assumptions are made, only for the truth to make everyone laugh.
When a husband came home, he found his wife crying. She said, “The pharmacist insulted me on the phone this morning!”
Angry, the husband drove to the pharmacy to confront the pharmacist and demand an apology. But before he could speak, the pharmacist said, “Wait, let me explain. This morning, my alarm didn’t go off, and I woke up late.”
“I skipped breakfast and rushed to the car, only to realize I locked my house and car keys inside. I had to break a window to get my keys. Then I drove too fast and got a speeding ticket. While driving to work, I had a flat tire. By the time I opened the pharmacy, there was already a line. And the phone wouldn’t stop ringing.”
He added, “I had to break a roll of coins to make change, but they spilled everywhere. When I stood up, I hit my head on the cash drawer, and all the perfume bottles fell and broke. Then the phone rang, and it was your wife. She wanted to know how to use a rectal thermometer, and all I did was tell her.”
3 The Family Secret
Family secrets can be surprising and funny. In this joke, a young man is excited about his upcoming marriage until his father reveals some shocking news, leading to a hilarious twist.
One Sunday morning, George rushed into the living room and shouted, “Dad! Mom! I have great news! I’m marrying the most beautiful girl in town. She lives a block away, and her name is Susan.”
Later, George’s dad pulled him aside and said, “Son, we need to talk. Look at your mom. We’ve been married for 30 years. She’s a great wife and mom, but she’s not very exciting. I used to cheat on her, and Susan is your half-sister, so you can’t marry her.”
George was heartbroken. After eight months, he started dating again. A year later, he proudly said, “Diane said yes! We’re getting married in June.”
Again, his father pulled him aside to share more bad news. “Diane is your half-sister too, George. I’m sorry.”
George was furious! He went to his mother with what his father said. “Dad is ruining my life. I guess I’ll never get married. Every time I like a girl, Dad says she’s my half-sister.”
His mother laughed and said, “Don’t listen to him. He’s not really your father.”
4 The Fried Eggs Incident
Everyday tasks like cooking breakfast can lead to funny arguments between spouses. This joke turns a simple breakfast into a humorous look at how we all sometimes feel the need to give advice, especially when the roles are reversed.
A wife was making fried eggs for breakfast when her husband burst into the kitchen.
“Careful!” he said. “Put in more butter! You’re cooking too many at once! Turn them! We need more butter! Oh no, they’re going to stick! Be careful! You never listen to me when you cook! Hurry! Don’t forget to salt them!”
The wife stared at him. “What’s wrong with you? You think I don’t know how to fry eggs?”
The husband calmly replied, “Sure you do. I just wanted to show you how it feels when I’m driving.”
5 The Supermarket Strategy
Shopping in a busy supermarket can be stressful, especially if you lose track of your spouse. This joke shows how resourceful one husband can be when looking for his wife, with a touch of humor.
In a supermarket, Ivan lost sight of his wife. He approached a young lady and asked, “Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?”
“Why?” asked the lady, confused by Ivan’s request.
“It’s always the same. As soon as I start talking to a pretty woman, my wife pops up out of nowhere.”
The Flu Revelation
Being stuck at home with the flu is never fun, but this joke shows how a man’s sickness revealed his wife’s true feelings in a surprising and funny way. Sometimes love can be found in unexpected situations.
A man visited a friend who had been sick with the flu for weeks.
“How was it?” the man asked.
“Surprisingly wonderful,” the friend replied.
“How so?” the man asked.
“Well, I found out how much my wife loves me and how happy she is to have me home.”
“How do you know?”
“Every time the postman, the milkman, or the trash collector comes by, she runs out shouting, ‘My husband is home! My husband is home!’”
The Late-Night Approach
Sometimes sneaking in late after a night out doesn’t go as planned. In this joke, two husbands compare how they deal with their wives when they come home late, revealing that a more direct approach can be the best way.
Two married friends were out drinking when one said, “I don’t know what to do. When I come home after drinking, I turn off the headlights before I get to the driveway. I coast into the garage, take off my shoes before entering the house, sneak upstairs, change in the bathroom, and slip into bed, and my wife still wakes up and yells at me for staying out too late!”
His friend replied, “You’re doing it wrong. I drive into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, flush the toilet loudly, throw my shoes in the closet, undress in the bedroom, and jump into bed saying, ‘Do you want to make love?’ And every time, she acts like she’s sound asleep!”
I Planned the Perfect Surprise Party, But My Husband’s Reaction Left the Room in Complete Silence
When Maria planned a surprise party for her husband’s 40th birthday, she thought it would be a night to remember for all the right reasons. She invited close friends and family, decorated the house, and made sure everything was perfect for his big day. But when the doorbell rang, something unexpected happened.
My husband’s 40th birthday was coming up, and I wanted to throw him a surprise party. I told him I would be out of town on his birthday, and we agreed to celebrate on another day.
The night before his birthday, I pretended to pack my bags and leave for the airport. But instead of traveling, I stayed overnight at my friend Karen’s house.
As I packed, Karen asked, “Are you sure this will work?”
“Absolutely,” I said. “Tom thinks I’m visiting my sister.”
The next day, I got up early to prepare everything. Tom usually came home around 6 p.m., so I invited friends and family to arrive at 5. By 4:45, guests began showing up, starting with his brother, Jim.
“Need any help?” Jim asked, carrying a box of decorations.
I handed him streamers and said, “Sure, hang these up.”
Soon, Tom’s best friend, Dave, arrived with his wife, Lisa. “Wow, Maria, you’ve outdone yourself,” Lisa said, admiring the decorations.
“Thanks! Can you help with the balloons?” I asked. Everyone worked together, and by 5:30, the house looked amazing, with streamers, balloons, and a big banner that said, “Happy 40th, Tom!”
At 5:45, I gathered everyone in the kitchen. “Tom will be here soon. Let’s hide,” I said, feeling excited. We turned off the lights and found hiding spots, waiting in the dark. My heart raced when I heard the key in the lock.
The door opened, but instead of Tom, I heard a woman’s voice. “Do you think he’ll like it?”
My heart sank. Who was this woman? For a second, I thought Tom was cheating on me. The lights came on, and we all gasped.
Standing in the doorway was a young couple, just as shocked as we were. The woman held a suitcase, and the man had a set of keys.
“Who are you?” I asked.
“Who are we? Who are you?” the woman responded, equally confused.
Jim stepped forward. “We’re here for a surprise party. Who are you?”
The man replied, “We rented this house on Airbnb.”
My face went pale. “Airbnb? This is our house!”
Dave scratched his head. “Tom must have listed it after Maria said she was leaving.”
The woman looked at me sympathetically. “Oh no, we didn’t know. We’re so sorry. We’ll leave right away.”
“No, it’s okay,” I said, trying to stay calm. “Let’s figure this out.”
The couple, still confused, stepped inside, and everyone started whispering, trying to understand what happened.
Karen came over and whispered, “Maria, what’s going on?”
“I have no idea,” I whispered back. “Tom must have put the house on Airbnb when I told him I’d be away.”
Tom’s sister, Susan, spoke up. “Let’s all sit down and talk this out.”
We moved to the living room, the party decorations now feeling out of place. The couple introduced themselves as Jake and Emily.
“We’re really sorry,” Jake said. “We thought the house was empty.”
Emily nodded. “We didn’t mean to crash your party.”
I smiled. “It’s not your fault. This is just a big mix-up.”
I called Tom, and he answered cheerfully. “Hey, honey! I thought you’d be on your flight.”
“Tom,” I said, trying to stay calm, “did you list our house on Airbnb?”
There was a pause. “Uh, yeah. I thought we could make some extra money since you were out of town.”
I took a deep breath. “Tom, I’m not out of town. I was planning a surprise party for you. Now, we’ve got guests and an Airbnb couple here.”
There was silence before Tom finally said, “Oh no, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know.”
I looked at Jake and Emily, who sat awkwardly on the couch. “What do we do now?”
“I’m coming home. We’ll figure it out,” Tom said.
I turned to everyone. “Tom’s on his way. We’ll sort this out soon.”
Jake stood up. “We can find another place to stay.”
Lisa shook her head. “No, stay. There’s plenty of food and drinks. Join us.”
Emily smiled. “Are you sure?”
“Absolutely. The more, the merrier,” I said.
Tom arrived fifteen minutes later, looking sheepish. “I’m really sorry,” he said. “I just wanted to save money for a vacation.”
Susan laughed. “Well, you certainly surprised us.”
Jake and Emily decided to stay, and soon everyone was laughing and having a great time.
As the night went on, I smiled. Despite the chaos, it turned out to be a night none of us would forget. And as for the vacation, Tom and I would definitely be taking one, with a funny story to tell for years to come.
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