There are so many things in the world that we may admire or even get inspired by, but there’s one main thing we may want to fall in love with before we start noticing the beauty of other things. It’s our own reflection in the mirror. Among all the numerous recipes for conjuring up self-love within ourselves, psychologists advise us to never compare ourselves to others and stop caring about other people’s opinions. Actress and producer Lena Dunham knows a lot about cultivating love for her own body despite all the criticism she faced, and she happily shares her journey with us all.
Lena Dunham doesn’t accept the term “body positivity,” and here’s why.
Actress and writer Lena Dunham has recently added another string to her bow and collaborated with the brand 11 Honoré to create a plus-size clothing collection. But the very term “plus size” frustrates Lena, and so is the term “body positivity.” In one of her Instagram posts, she explains that she feels more “body tolerant” than “body positive.”
In her interview, Dunham said, “The thing that’s complicated about the body-positive movement is it can be for the privileged few who have a body that looks the way people want to feel positive. We want curvy bodies that look like Kim Kardashian has been up-sized slightly. We want big beautiful butts and big beautiful breasts and no cellulite and faces that look like you could smack them onto thin women.”
Dunham has a very special relationship with her own body.
Dunhams path to self-love started with a decade-long journey with endometriosis. Since she started her own fight against it, she has been candidly sharing how it influenced both her emotional health and her relationship with her own body image. In her Instagram post, she emotionally described how she fluctuated between loving her body and the opposite.
She wrote, “Ya know when you’re home alone, and you realize you’d be happier in a hot lil’ onesie than your ketchup and cat food stained pajamas? And it’s not about a boy or a photo shoot or a weight loss before-and-after, it’s just for the feeling of glee you get from dressing your one and only corporeal form in pleasing fabrics, the unique pleasure of admiring the twists and turns of the body that loves the heck out of you even when you don’t love it.”
Dunham is powerfully addressing all people who come to her page with criticism.
In 2021, Dunham tied the knot with musician Luis Felber. It was such a darling event for her that she wore 3 wedding dresses to marry her love and shared the photos on her Instagram. However, she started getting some “gnarly” comments in her feed from people who commented on her body and appearance. The actress didn’t hesitate for a minute to address them with a powerful message.
She wrote, “One narrative I take issue with, largely because it’s a story I don’t want other women, other people, to get lodged in their heads, is that I should somehow be criticized because my body has changed since I was last on television. […] But lastly, when will we learn to stop equating thinness with health/happiness?”
Dunham’s powerful message can be echoed in the hearts of many.
For all people who have ever hesitated about embracing their body image, Dunham has some simple yet wise advice. She says, “Of course weight loss can be the result of positive change in habits, but guess what? So can weight gain. The pics I’m being compared to are from when I was with an undiagnosed illness. In the last 4 years, I’ve begun my life as someone who aspires toward health and not just achievement.
These changes have allowed me to be the kind of sister/friend/daughter that I want to be and yes — meet my husband (who, by the way, doesn’t recognize me in those old photos because he sees how dimmed my light was). I say this for any other person whose appearance has been changed with time, illness, or circumstance — it’s okay to live in your present body without treating it as transitional. I am, and I’m really enjoying it. Love you all.”
Do you find Lena Dunham’s example inspiring? What do you love the most about your appearance?
Preview photo credit Steve Granitz / WireImage / Getty Images, lenadunham / Instagram
I Overheard My 9-Year-Old Daughter Whispering on the Phone: ‘I’ll Never Forgive Mom for What She Did’
“I’ll never forgive Mom for what she did!” Isabella heard her daughter Hailey whispering on the phone. The words sent an icy shock through her. What had she done? What horrible thing did Hailey believe? Dread coiled in her stomach as she realized someone had filled her daughter’s head with lies. And those lies could destroy everything.
My husband Stan and I have been together for ten years. I love him, and he loves me. We have a wonderful daughter, Hailey, who lights up our lives with her curious mind and infectious laugh.
A little girl standing in a house | Source: Midjourney
Our life together has been filled with love, laughter, and the kind of understanding that makes a marriage strong. Despite the usual ups and downs, we’ve built a home full of warmth and happiness.
That’s why what happened last Tuesday hit me so hard.
It was just a regular afternoon. I had finished putting away the groceries and was heading to the bathroom when I passed by Hailey’s bedroom. Her door was slightly ajar, and I could hear her voice, hushed but clear enough that her words stopped me in my tracks.
A doorknob | Source: Pexels
“I’ll never forgive Mom for what she did!”
I froze mid-step, my hand gripping the wall for support. I just stood there, forgetting where I was heading to.
Why would Hailey say something like that? What had I done to hurt her so deeply? My mind raced through recent memories.
Had I been too harsh about her messy room? Too strict about screen time? Had I forgotten some important promise?
“No, I can’t tell Dad,” Hailey continued, her voice trembling. “It would break his heart.”
A girl talking on the phone | Source: Midjourney
My stomach twisted into a painful knot. This wasn’t about some minor parenting mistake. This was something serious enough that she thought it would hurt Stan if he knew.
I backed away from the door quietly. Part of me wanted to burst in and demand answers, but the rational side of me knew that would only make Hailey clam up.
Whatever was happening, I needed to approach it carefully.
That evening, I found Hailey in her room after dinner. Stan was washing the dishes, so I thought this was the perfect opportunity to talk to her.
A man washing a glass | Source: Pexels
“Hey, sweetie,” I said, sitting beside her. “Can we talk for a minute?”
She nodded.
“Hailey, I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but I heard what you said on the phone today,” I admitted, trying to keep my voice gentle. “What have I done that you can’t forgive?”
Her head snapped up, eyes wide with panic before she quickly looked away. Then, she shook her head.
A little girl looking straight ahead | Source: Midjourney
“Please, tell me,” I urged, reaching out to touch her hand. “Whatever it is, we can talk about it. I promise I won’t be mad.”
Her eyes filled with tears. She wiped them quickly, but they kept falling. The sight broke my heart. My little girl, always so quick to smile, was drowning in a sadness I couldn’t understand.
“You can tell me anything,” I whispered.
Then, in a trembling whisper, she finally spoke.
“Grandma told me that you cheated on Daddy and that he isn’t my biological father!”
A girl talking to her mother | Source: Midjourney
What the heck? I thought.
It took me some time to process what she’d just said.
My stomach twisted into knots.
Ten years. My husband and I had been together for ten years. And yet, my mother-in-law, Martha, had always hated me.
An older woman | Source: Midjourney
I had endured her cold stares, her snide remarks, and her calculated attempts to make me feel like an outsider. I had done it all for the sake of my husband and our family.
But this? This was unforgivable.
I took a deep breath, trying to stay calm for my daughter’s sake.
“Sweetheart, why would Grandma say something like that?” I asked gently, smoothing her hair back from her tear-stained face.
She hesitated before answering, her small fingers twisting in the fabric of her bedspread.
A girl’s hand on a bedspread | Source: Midjourney
“I asked her why she has always been so mean to me,” she admitted. “I just wanted to know why she never hugs me like other grandmas do. When we visited last weekend, I saw her hugging cousin Emma, but she never does that with me.”
My heart sank. I had noticed Martha’s coldness toward Hailey but had convinced myself it wasn’t that obvious. Clearly, I was wrong.
“And that’s when she told me…” Hailey continued, her voice barely audible. “She said you betrayed Dad and that he’s not really my father. She said it’s easy to see why. Dad has green eyes, and I have brown. He has dark brown hair, and mine is light. She said that proves I can’t be his real daughter.”
A woman talking to her granddaughter | Source: Midjourney
My heart ached. My mother-in-law’s hatred for me had now poisoned my daughter’s innocence.
“Who were you talking to on the phone about this?” I asked softly.
“Lily,” she confessed, referring to her best friend. “I didn’t know who else to tell. I saw people do that in movies when they have secrets.”
I cupped her face in my hands, making sure she was looking directly at me. “Hailey, listen to me very carefully. What Grandma told you is a lie. A cruel, horrible lie. Your father is your biological father. I have never, ever cheated on him. I love him too much to ever do something like that.”
“But what about my eyes and hair?” she asked, doubt clouding her features.
A girl looking at her mother | Source: Midjourney
“You get your brown eyes from me, sweetie. And your hair color comes from my side of the family too. My brother has the exact same color, remember? That’s how genetics works sometimes. You don’t always look exactly like your parents.”
She seemed to consider this, but uncertainty still lingered in her expression.
“Tell you what,” I said, an idea forming. “If you’re worried, we can prove it. There are tests that can show without any doubt that Daddy is your biological father. Would that make you feel better?”
Her eyes widened. “Like on those TV shows where they find out who the real dad is?”
A little girl looking straight ahead | Source: Midjourney
Despite everything, I had to smile at her reference. “Yes, exactly like that. It’s called a DNA test.”
“Can we really do that?” Hope flickered across her face.
“Absolutely. We’ll order one tonight, and when the results come back, you’ll see that Grandma was lying.”
“Will Dad be mad if I ask for a test?” she asked anxiously.
I shook my head. “Not at all. He’ll understand that you need reassurance. That’s what parents do. We help our children feel safe and secure.”
That very night, after Hailey had gone to bed, I explained everything to Stan. His face darkened with each word.
An angry man | Source: Midjourney
“She said what to Hailey?” he demanded. “Is she out of her mind?”
I reached for his hand. “I know it’s shocking. I’ve already ordered a DNA test online. Not because I think we need it, but because Hailey needs to see proof.”
The next morning, we went to get the test done.
The results would take a week to arrive, but I wasn’t going to sit idly by while my mother-in-law tried to destroy my family. It was time for some well-earned revenge.
I knew exactly how to hit her where it hurt.
An upset woman | Source: Midjourney
You see, Martha had always prided herself on being a respected woman in her social circle. She hosted charity events, bragged about her son’s accomplishments, and most importantly, never let anyone see the bitter, manipulative side of her.
It was time for everyone to see the real her.
First, I crafted an anonymous email and sent it to the elite women in her social group. I kept it short and to the point:
Ladies of the Garden Club,
The Martha you think you know is not who she pretends to be. Attached is a recording of her true character. Listen carefully to how she speaks about her own family. Is this someone you want representing your values?
– A Concerned Citizen
A woman using her laptop | Source: Pexels
Attached was a secret recording. It was a conversation I had once accidentally recorded when she was ranting about how she had always wanted my husband to marry the daughter of her best friend instead of me. How she had done everything in her power to ruin our marriage. How she despised me for taking away her son.
I had kept that recording for three years, never thinking I’d use it. It was my insurance policy. My private proof that I wasn’t imagining her hatred.
But now, it would serve a greater purpose.
A woman holding her phone | Source: Pexels
Then, I went one step further. I told my husband everything she’d done to me over the years. I’d never told him anything in depth because I didn’t want him to worry about it.
“All these years,” Stan said, his voice breaking. “All these years I thought she was just a little difficult. I had no idea she was actively trying to destroy us. And now she’s dragged Hailey into this? Our little girl? That’s unforgivable.”
“What do you want to do?” I asked quietly.
His eyes met mine, resolute and clear. “I’m going to confront her. Today. And this time, I’m not buying any excuses.”
A man talking to his wife | Source: Midjourney
When my mother-in-law realized what I had done, it was too late.
Her social circle turned against her. Friends distanced themselves. The same women who had once laughed at her jokes now whispered behind her back. The recording had revealed a side of Martha they’d never seen.
When Stan confronted her, she couldn’t do anything except come up with lame excuses.
“How could you tell my daughter I’m not her father?” Stan demanded when he visited her house.
“I was only pointing out the obvious,” Martha sniffed. “Look at her! She looks nothing like you.”
A woman talking to her son | Source: Midjourney
“She looks exactly like Isabella’s side of the family,” Stan countered. “But even if she didn’t, how dare you plant those doubts in her mind? She’s nine years old, Mom. Nine!”
“I was trying to protect you,” she insisted. “That woman has never been good enough for you. I’ve always known it.”
Stan shook his head. “The only person I need protection from is you. Until you can apologize to my wife and daughter, I don’t want you in our lives.”
A week later, the DNA results arrived. As expected, they confirmed that my husband was our daughter’s biological father.
An envelope | Source: Midjourney
I showed them to my daughter, holding her close as she cried in relief. “I told you, sweetheart. Grandma was wrong.”
“So, Dad is really my dad?” she asked, her voice small but hopeful.
“He really is,” I assured her. “He always has been, and he always will be.”
And just like that, my mother-in-law lost everything she had fought so hard to preserve. Her reputation, her influence, and most painfully of all, the unwavering love of her son.
An upset woman | Source: Midjourney
Through this painful ordeal, I learned something important. Some people are like poison because they seep into the cracks of your life and slowly contaminate everything they touch.
For too long, I had tolerated Martha’s behavior for the sake of family harmony. I had convinced myself that maintaining peace was worth the personal cost.
But I was wrong.
Protecting my family meant setting boundaries, even difficult ones. It meant standing up against toxic behavior, no matter who it came from.
Sometimes, the people who should love us the most are the ones who hurt us the deepest, and recognizing when to walk away is not a sign of weakness.
It’s proof of strength.
What do you think?
If you enjoyed reading this story, here’s another one you might like: When my husband proposed, he gave me a beautiful vintage ring that had been in his family for generations. But his mother decided it wasn’t mine to keep. She demanded it back, and I handed it over, too stunned to argue. I thought that was the end of it… I was wrong.
This work is inspired by real events and people, but it has been fictionalized for creative purposes. Names, characters, and details have been changed to protect privacy and enhance the narrative. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.
The author and publisher make no claims to the accuracy of events or the portrayal of characters and are not liable for any misinterpretation. This story is provided “as is,” and any opinions expressed are those of the characters and do not reflect the views of the author or publisher.
Leave a Reply