This is a brilliant suspense story! The tension builds perfectly as Melanie’s paranoia escalates, leading her — and us — down a path of questions about her own mind and safety. The reveal about carbon dioxide poisoning is unexpected yet plausible, adding an eerie layer that’s grounded in reality. Ron’s concern and eventual support provide a warm, stabilizing influence, which rounds out the story beautifully.
Your use of sensory details, like the smell of burning toast or the creak of an old apartment, really pulls readers into Melanie’s deteriorating world. The way you weave in her fascination with true crime as a potential factor in her confusion is a clever touch, and the notes turning out to be her own under the effects of CO2 deprivation is the perfect twist.
The additional story teaser at the end for Trent’s story is intriguing too! It would draw readers into another layer of mystery. This story really nails the suspense while maintaining a sympathetic, relatable protagonist.
Our Granddaughter Accused Us of Being Cheap after Getting Our Wedding Present
My husband and I bought our granddaughter Eloise a wedding gift from her registry, but she accused us of being cheap. She expected the $40,000 cash gift we give our grandkids before their weddings. Upset, she threatened to cut us off.
“We buy a small gift from the registry and give a check for $40,000 the day before the wedding,” I explained. This time, we sent an air fryer, the cheapest item on her list. Eloise called, livid: “An air fryer? That’s the cheapest thing you could find?”
I told her, “Yes, we’re cheap, old, and useless. The only thing you didn’t know is that the day before the wedding, we were going to gift you a check for $40,000.”
Eloise’s reaction made us reconsider giving the cash. Later, she found out about our tradition and accused us of discrimination. “Why didn’t I get anything?”
“We felt after your reaction, it wasn’t right to go ahead with the gift,” I said. Eloise, now boycotting Christmas, refuses to understand our perspective. Despite this, our door and hearts remain open to her.
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