My mother-in-law (MIL) discovered the date through my sister-in-law (SIL), Megan. On that evening during our romantic dinner, Samantha called Josh. She claimed to have had a heart attack and needed him immediately by her side.
“Josh, it’s your mother. I need you right now!” Samantha’s voice trembled over the phone. Josh’s face turned pale, but his phone buzzed again. Megan’s message popped up: “She’s faking it. Don’t fall for it!”
“Are you sure?” Josh texted back quickly.
“Yes, she’s sitting here eating ice cream and watching TV,” Megan replied. Thanks to that heads-up, he didn’t fall for Samantha’s trick! We managed to have a lovely romantic dinner and a beautiful engagement, knowing his mother was faking her condition to get his attention.
The months leading up to the wedding were a nightmare. Samantha did everything she could to sabotage our plans. She complained about the venue, criticized my dress, and even tried to convince Josh to call the whole thing off!
“Josh, do you really think she’s the RIGHT ONE for you?” Samantha would say, her tone dripping with condescension. “You could do so much better.”
“Mom, I love her. That’s all that matters,” Josh would reply, trying to keep his cool.
I thought my husband’s mother would relent, but then she showed up uninvited to my bridal shower! The woman made a scene, accusing me of trying to steal her son away and ruining his life!
“You’re nothing but a gold-digger!” she screamed in front of all my friends and family.
“Samantha, you need to leave now,” my maid of honor, Sarah, said firmly, stepping in to protect me. It seemed my MIL’s actions were becoming more desperate, but I didn’t expect what she would do next!
Fast forward to our wedding day. I hoped she had put up with the fact that her son had chosen me. BUT NO! In the middle of our wedding vows, she INTERRUPTED, claiming she had a “surprise” for me.
“I have a special gift for the bride!” Samantha announced with a sinister smile. Before anyone could react, she splashed a full bottle of red paint all over my dress. “What the hell, Mom?!” Josh screamed, his voice echoing through the hall.
I stood there in shock, my gorgeous gown ruined! I couldn’t say a word and was in shock. But Josh started screaming at her, demanding she leave immediately. “You’ve gone too far this time, Mom! Get out! Now!” he shouted.
Samantha was escorted out by a few guests who had seen enough of her antics. The ceremony continued, but the mood had been dampened. I tried to put on a brave face, but inside, I was devastated.
After the ceremony, we decided to skip the reception and head straight to our honeymoon suite. Josh was FURIOUS, pacing back and forth in our room. “I can’t believe she did that,” he muttered. “I’m so sorry, babe. This was supposed to be the happiest day of our lives.”
“It’s not your fault,” I said, trying to comfort him. “She’s the one who ruined it.” Now, you might think that’s where the story ends, but oh no. Karma was quick and had something else in store for Samantha!
A few weeks later, I learned that my MIL had a grand gala planned at her home. It was a charity event, and she had invited the crème de la crème of society. She was always so proud of her pristine house and immaculate garden.
This event was supposed to be the highlight of her social calendar. I decided it was time for a little payback. I contacted a few friends who owned a landscaping company and made a deal with them.
“Are you sure about this?” my friend Jake asked, grinning. “Absolutely! It’s time she learns her lesson,” I replied. The night before the gala, Samantha got what she deserved. Jake’s company “accidentally” mixed up addresses.
They delivered a truckload of manure to my MIL’s manicured lawn. The team then spread it all over. They ensured every inch of her precious garden was covered in the most pungent fertilizer imaginable!
The next morning, the smell was unbearable! Guests started arriving for the gala, only to be greeted by the overwhelming stench of manure. My MIL was mortified! She tried to salvage the event, but no amount of perfume or air fresheners could mask the smell.
“Welcome to my…” Samantha began. “Oh, dear lord!” one guest exclaimed, covering their nose. “Samantha, what on earth happened here?” another whispered, horrified. Guests left in disgust, and my MILl’s reputation took a serious hit!
But that wasn’t all! A few days after the gala incident, my MIL received a call from the local health department. “We’ve received a complaint about improper manure disposal,” the officer stated.
“What?! From whom?!” Samantha shrieked! Josh and I were upstairs trying to help her deal with the aftermath of the gala and came running down. With tears in her eyes, she told us what happened. “Is that so? I wonder who could have reported that,” I said with a smirk.
“Someone” had reported her for improper manure disposal. It resulted in a hefty fine and a mandatory cleanup crew that tore up her garden, leaving it in shambles. I might have tipped them off anonymously, but hey, sometimes you have to play dirty to get justice.
The icing on the cake was that I ensured the local newspaper got wind of the story! They ran a piece about the “Gala Gone Wrong.” In it they detailed how the host’s meticulous planning was ruined by a mysterious manure delivery. Samantha’s name was the talk of the town, and not in a good way!
To add another twist, my husband and I decided to take a delayed honeymoon. We wanted to spend some quality time away from all the drama. We chose a beautiful tropical destination. While we were gone, I hired a local artist to create a stunning mural on our garage door.
The mural featured a vibrant red wedding dress. It was my way of reclaiming the color red. A way for me to turn it into something beautiful rather than a symbol of Samantha’s vindictiveness.
When we returned, my MIL’s face was priceless when she saw the mural! “What is this supposed to be?” she snapped, pointing at the garage. Josh just laughed and told her, “It’s a symbol of our strength and resilience as a couple.”
When she confronted me, accusing me of orchestrating the whole thing, I smiled. “It’s funny how things work out sometimes, isn’t it?” I replied. From that day on, Samantha never tried to sabotage our relationship again. She knew better than to mess with me.
But there was one more thing I had planned. To ensure she understood the full extent of her actions, I organized a family intervention. With Josh’s help, we gathered everyone at our house. This included Megan, Sarah, and a few close friends who had seen Samantha’s behavior over the years.
“Samantha, we need to talk,” Josh began, his tone serious. “Your actions have hurt us deeply, and it’s time you faced the consequences.”
“What is this, some kind of ambush?” my MIL sneered, crossing her arms.
“It’s an intervention,” I said calmly. “We’re here to make you understand how your behavior affects everyone.” One by one, our friends and family shared their experiences and feelings about Samantha’s manipulative actions.
Tears shed, voices rose, and Samantha’s defenses began to crumble. “You’ve treated me like an outsider from day one,” I said, my voice trembling. “But no more. We deserve better.”
“I never meant to hurt anyone,” my MIL said quietly, her eyes downcast. “I wanted what’s best for Josh.”
“What’s best for me is to be happy with the woman I love,” Josh said firmly. “And if you can’t accept that, then you’re the one who’s going to be left out.” Samantha finally broke down, realizing the impact of her actions.
She apologized to everyone and promised to change.
Whether she would truly follow through was yet to be seen, but for the first time, I felt a glimmer of hope. After the intervention, things slowly began to improve. Samantha made an effort to be more involved in our lives without being overbearing.
She even offered to help replace my wedding dress. A small step towards mending our relationship. The lesson here? Don’t start a fight you can’t finish. Thanks for reading!
How to Own Your Dream Home
For most people, their first home isn’t their dream home. It starts off nice enough. But as time goes by and your family grows, starter homes tend to get a little . . . cramped.
But don’t hate on your current home too much. Because while it gave you a safe and dry place to lay your head at night, it was also setting you up to own your dream home someday.
We’ll show you how it all works and walk you through the steps that’ll get you in your dream home—one you can actually afford!
How to Get Your Dream Home in 5 Steps
Here are the steps:
- Follow the Financial Basics
- Find Out How Much Equity You Have
- Set Your New Home-Buying Budget
- Find the Right Dream Home for You
- Be Picky and Patient
Now let’s cover each step in more detail.
Step 1: Follow the Financial Basics
First thing’s first—you have to get out of debt, get on a budget, and build up an emergency fund of 3–6 months of expenses. Sounds pretty basic, right? If you haven’t completed these steps, then you’re not ready to upgrade to your dream home . . . yet.
Now, when you’ve got house fever, it can be hard to focus on paying off debt or saving an emergency fund before you upgrade your home—especially when you’re feeling the pressure of rising home prices and interest rates.
But whether it’s your second or third house, you should only buy a home when you’ve covered the financial basics we mentioned above. Then you’ll be ready to start the journey toward owning your dream house.
And that journey starts with your home equity. What’s equity? Well, we’re glad you asked . . . that brings us to the next step.
Step 2: Find Out How Much Equity You Have
Home equity is a pretty simple concept: It’s your current home’s value minus whatever you still owe on your mortgage.
See, in most cases, your home’s value increases over time. Similar to other long-term investments (like retirement accounts), homes gradually increase in value. There have been periods of ups and downs in the market to be sure, but the value of real estate has consistently gone up. According to the St. Louis Federal Reserve, the average sale price of a home has increased over 2,300% from 1965 to 2023! And in the last ten years (2013 to 2023), there’s been a 68% increase.1 As your home increases in value, so does your equity. In real estate terms, this is called appreciation.
Other factors that increase your home’s equity include:
- Added value: Home improvement projects like adding square footage, updating fixtures and appliances, or even just slapping on a new coat of paint can add value to your home.
- Mortgage paydown: Paying down your mortgage not only gets you out of debt faster, it also builds your equity. The less you owe on your home, the more equity you have.
The amount of equity you have gives you a pretty good idea of how much money you’ll end up with after selling your house. You can use that money to make a hefty down payment and cover the other costs that come with buying a home.
Find expert agents to help you buy your home.
So, how do you determine your home’s value? Well, you can get a ballpark estimate on real estate websites like Zillow, ask a trusted real estate agent to perform a competitive market analysis (which they’ll do anyway if they’re helping you sell your house), or get a professional appraisal.
Finding out your home’s equity will involve a little math, but it’s third-grade-level stuff, so don’t sweat it.
Here’s what we mean. Let’s say your home’s current value is $355,000. When you sell that house, you’ll have to pay for between 1–3% of the sale price in closing costs, another 6% in fees for the real estate agent who helped you sell it, and whatever’s left to pay off on your mortgage.
That means you can estimate clearing over $223,000 from selling your house. That’s a killer down payment on your dream home! And if your home is paid off, that’s even more money to put down and use to pay for things like repairs and moving expenses.
Step 3: Set Your Dream Home Budget
Once you know how much you’ll clear from the sale of your home, you can start making a budget for your dream home.
The key to owning your dream home (instead of it owning you) is to keep your mortgage payment to no more than 25% of your take-home pay on a 15-year fixed-rate mortgage, along with paying a down payment of at least 20% to avoid private mortgage insurance (PMI). Never get a 30-year mortgage even if the bank offers it (and they will). You’d pay a fortune in interest—money that should go toward building your wealth, not the bank’s.
So, let’s say your take-home pay is $4,800 a month. That means your monthly mortgage payment shouldn’t be any bigger than $1,200. By the way, that 25% figure should also include other home fees collected every month with the mortgage payment like homeowners association (HOA) fees, insurance premiums and property taxes.
Plug your numbers into our mortgage calculator to see how much house you can afford.
And don’t forget to budget for all those other costs that come with the home-buying process in addition to your closing fees—things like moving expenses and any upgrades or repairs you might need to make. You don’t want these hidden costs to catch you off guard or drain your emergency fund.
Step 4: Find the Right Dream Home for You
This is where things get real. After all your hard work building up your equity (and doing a lot of math—don’t forget that), you’re finally ready to start the house hunt. Woo-hoo!
But don’t lose focus. Stay zoned in by making a list of features that make a home fit your budget, lifestyle and dreams—and stick to it throughout your house hunt. Here are a few ideas to get you started.
- Don’t compromise on location and layout. If you plan to be in this home for the long haul, an out-of-the-way neighborhood or a wacky floor plan is a deal breaker. Look for a community and layout that’ll suit your lifestyle now and for years to come.
- Think about how much space your family needs. While your budget has the final say about how much home you buy, you’ll want your dream home to fit your family’s needs through different life seasons.
- Consider the school districts. If you have or want kids, the quality of the nearby school districts is probably already on your mind. But even if you don’t have kids or you’re retired, keep in mind that having good schools nearby could increase your home’s value.
- Look for a house that’ll grow in value. Are home values rising in the area? Is the number of businesses going up? These factors can help you figure out whether your dream home will turn into a good investment.
- Count the costs. Want that fancy master bathroom with the multiple showerheads and the Jacuzzi tub? Be clear on what’s a must-have and what’s nice to have. And don’t forget, upgraded features like that will make your dream home more expensive.
Step 5: Be Picky and Patient
We know you’re anxious to get into those new digs, but be patient. Wait for the right house at the right time. Don’t spend your money on a less-than-ideal home just because you’re tired of looking.
The key is finding a good real estate agent who understands your budget and refuses to settle for “good enough.” They’re as committed to your dream as you are and will have your back throughout the entire process, no matter what it takes.
In addition to teaming up with a great real estate agent, you can take a couple of extra steps to make sure you’re ready to strike as soon as the right home comes up:
- Get preapproved for a 15-year fixed-rate mortgage. Having preapproved financing is a green flag for sellers—especially in multiple offer situations. And because this puts most of your information in the lender’s system, you’ll be on the fast track to closing once your offer is accepted.
- Offer earnest money with your bid. Earnest money is a deposit to show you’re truly interested in a home. Usually it’s 1–2% of the home’s purchase price and it’s applied to your down payment or closing costs. Even if the deal falls through, you can almost always get most of it back.
Find a Real Estate Expert in Your Local Market
Now, you might be thinking you have some work to do before you’re ready to find your dream home. Or you may be realizing your years of hard work are about to pay off! Regardless, if you follow these steps, you’ll find the house you’ve always wanted and avoid a purchase you’ll regret.
Once you’re ready, connect with one of our RamseyTrusted real estate agents. These are high-performing agents who do business the Ramsey way and share your values so you can rest easy knowing the search for your dream home is in the right hands.
Find the only real estate agents in your area we trust, and start the hunt for your dream home!
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