I was shocked when my husband, Jake, handed me a schedule to help me “become a better wife.” But instead of losing my temper, I decided to play along. Little did Jake know, I was about to teach him a lesson that would make him rethink his new idea of marriage.
I’ve always been the calm and reasonable one in our relationship. Jake, on the other hand, can easily get caught up in new trends or ideas, whether it’s a hobby or a YouTube video that claims to change his life in just a few easy steps.
Jake and I were fine until he met Steve. Steve was the type of guy who thought being loud made him right. He’d talk over anyone who tried to correct him. He was also always single (no surprise there), but that didn’t stop him from giving relationship advice to all his married friends, including Jake. Jake, who should’ve known better, was impressed by Steve’s confidence.
I didn’t worry about it much at first, but then Jake started saying things like, “Steve says marriages work best when the wife handles the household,” or “Steve thinks women should always look good for their husbands, no matter how long they’ve been married.” I’d roll my eyes and make sarcastic comments, but it was bothering me. Jake was changing. He’d raise an eyebrow if I ordered takeout instead of cooking, and he’d sigh if I let the laundry pile up—forgetting that I also had a full-time job.
Then one night, it happened. Jake came home with The List.
He sat me down, unfolded a piece of paper, and slid it across the table. “I’ve been thinking,” he began, sounding condescending in a way I’d never heard before. “You’re a great wife, Lisa, but there’s room for improvement.”
My eyebrows shot up. “Oh really?”
He nodded, not realizing he was walking into dangerous territory. “Yeah, Steve helped me realize that our marriage could be even better if you, you know, stepped up a bit.”
I looked at the paper in front of me. It was a schedule, titled “Lisa’s Weekly Routine for Becoming a Better Wife.” Jake had actually written out a plan for me based on what Steve—a single guy with no relationship experience—thought I should do to “improve” as a wife.
I was supposed to wake up at 5 a.m. every day to make Jake a gourmet breakfast, then go to the gym to “stay in shape.” After that? Cleaning, laundry, ironing—all before heading to work. Every evening, I was to cook dinner from scratch and make snacks for Jake and his friends when they came over. It was sexist and insulting on so many levels, I didn’t know where to start. I just stared at Jake, wondering if he had lost his mind.
“This will be great for you, and us,” he continued, unaware.
“Steve says it’s important to have structure, and I think you could benefit from—”
“Benefit from what?” I interrupted, keeping my voice calm. Jake blinked, surprised, but quickly recovered.
“Well, from having some guidance and a schedule.”
I wanted to throw the paper in his face, but instead, I surprised myself—I smiled.
“You’re right, Jake,” I said sweetly. “I’m lucky you made me this schedule. I’ll start tomorrow.”
He looked relieved, and I almost felt sorry for him as I stuck the list on the fridge. Almost. He had no idea what was coming.
The next day, I looked at the ridiculous schedule and smiled. If Jake thought he could hand me a list of “improvements,” he was about to learn a lesson. I opened my laptop and started a new document titled, “Jake’s Plan for Becoming the Best Husband Ever.” If he wanted perfection from me, there was a cost.
I started by listing all the things he’d suggested for me, beginning with the gym. “$1,200 for a personal trainer,” I typed, barely holding back a laugh.
Next was the food. If Jake wanted gourmet meals, that wasn’t happening with our current grocery budget. Organic, non-GMO, free-range everything? That wasn’t cheap. “$700 per month for groceries,” I wrote. And if he wanted fancy meals, he’d need cooking lessons too—those were expensive.
I leaned back, laughing as I imagined his face when he saw this. But I wasn’t done. The best part was yet to come.
There was no way I could manage all these demands and keep my job. If Jake wanted me to follow his absurd schedule full-time, he’d have to cover my lost income. I calculated my salary and added it to the list. “$75,000 per year to replace Lisa’s salary since she will now be your full-time maid, chef, and personal assistant.”
By now, I was laughing so hard my stomach hurt.
And just for fun, I added a note about expanding the house. If Jake was going to have friends over all the time, they’d need a separate space. “$50,000 to build a man cave so Jake and his friends don’t disrupt Lisa’s new routine.”
I printed out the list, set it on the kitchen counter, and waited for Jake to come home. When he arrived, he was in a good mood.
“Hey, babe,” he called, spotting the paper. “What’s this?”
Keeping a straight face, I said, “Oh, just a little list to help you become the best husband ever.”
He chuckled, thinking I was playing along, but as he read the list, his smile faded. “$1,200 for a trainer? $700 a month for groceries? What the hell, Lisa?”
I crossed my arms. “Well, you want me to follow your plan, right? I figured we should budget for it.”
His face turned pale as he flipped through the pages. “$75,000 a year? You’re quitting your job?”
“How else can I follow your plan?” I asked. “I can’t work and be the perfect wife, right?”
Jake looked stunned. The numbers and the absurdity of his demands hit him all at once. His smugness disappeared, replaced by the realization that he had messed up.
“I didn’t mean for it to be like this,” he stammered. “I just thought—”
“You thought you could ‘fix’ me like a project?” I said, my voice calm but firm. “Jake, marriage is about respect. And if you ever try to ‘fix’ me like this again, it’ll cost you a lot more than what’s on that paper.”
There was a long silence. Jake sighed and looked at me, defeated.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I didn’t realize how ridiculous it was. Steve made it sound reasonable, but now I see… it’s toxic. I’ve been such a fool.”
I nodded. “Yes, you have. And honestly, Steve has no idea what he’s talking about. Why would you listen to him?”
Jake’s face softened as the truth hit him. “You’re right. He has no clue.”
We tore up both lists, and for the first time in weeks, I felt like we were back on the same team. It was a reminder that marriage isn’t about being perfect—it’s about being better together.
12 Curious Finds That Turned People’s Worlds Upside-Down
Have you ever found something that made you very confused? We all know that feeling. Our curiosity keeps pushing us until we understand it. But now, we don’t need to visit a library or ask a professional for answers anymore. The internet has a lot of people who investigate things online, and they’ve uncovered some incredible hidden facts about curious and unique discoveries.
1. ’’Found this thrown at the bottom of a lake in Stockholm. It was overgrown with algae on the outside. Nothing grows on the inside, so the liquid is not water. No markings.’’
Answer: Oh, it’s a storm glass.
2. ’’I found 25 of these things individually wrapped in men’s briefs and socks.’’
Answer: They are fire hose caps.
3. ’’My mother says this cast iron thing is for pouring oil, but my grandmother says she’s wrong and can’t remember what it’s for. Help?’’
Answer: It looks sort of similar to the type of thing used to melt down lead to cast new bullets.
4. ’’What is this pair of scissors I bought years ago on flee market?’’
Answer: It’s a vintage umbilical clamp. That’s why it’s shaped like a stork! Eventually this style did evolve into several types of embroidery scissors that the midwives would use while awaiting labor.
5. ’’What’s this brass or copper like thing in bathroom door handle?’’
Answer: The copper kills bacteria and germs.
6. ’’I found this wooden device. It’s maybe for stretching something or measuring?’’
Answer: It’s a hat stretcher.
7. ’’I found this in a random box of kitchen supplies. Is this just for carving meat or some other food?’’
8. ’’It is made of clay/terra cotta, can fit inside a palm. It came with something I bought but can’t remember what. What is it used for?’’
Answer: You put it on with your brown sugar to keep it from clumping or drying out in storage.
9. ’’Metal, plastic, and canvas-looking fabric clips. They are a few inches long, what are they?’’
Answer: They look a bit like the things attached to a garter belt to hold up stockings.
10. ’’My kids got these for Halloween. They are thin plastic, what are they?’’
Answer 1: They are stencils, popular in the 90s. Got a bunch as a kid!
Answer 2: Yep, this is it, the raised lines are so that when you put a piece of paper over it and rub a crayon over it the raised lines show up darker for detail.
11. ’’What are these blue reflecting markers for? They are mounted on a pole, facing the field.’’
Answer: They are reflecting the headlights of cars to the fields, so that deer avoids crossing the road. So, it’s for safety of cars and animals.
12. ’’What’s this odd-looking glass I found while walking on the beach in Hawaii?’’
Comment: Oh, no! Tell me you didn’t throw it back, please. If it is an older float, it is worth a pretty penny.
If you’d like to uncover more mystery objects that will blow your mind, then check out this article.
Preview photo credit Tio76 / Reddit
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