Marlo Thomas and Phil Donahue actually wrote the marital handbook.
The long-married couple’s book, What Makes a Marriage Last: Insider Stories, contains personal facts about their marriage. Forty Well-Known Couples Share Their Secrets with Us.
The most fascinating revelation made by Marlo is that, even though she and Phil have been married for over 40 years, she never really wanted to get married.
The famous person expressed in the book her previously negative opinion of the institution, saying that marriage is like a vacuum cleaner that sucks away all of your ambition and vitality when you stick it to your ear.
Thomas frequently shares her opinions, likening marriage to having to placate a prisoner. That is, until she met Donahue.
Phil Donahue and Marlo Thomas met following the dissolution of their first marriage, and they have remained lifelong friends ever since.
The Phil Donahue Show, which was eventually renamed as simply “Donahue,” was the vehicle through which Phil Donahue first gained popular recognition. For the first time, audience members participated in the program, which ran for 29 years. One of the visitors on his show who radically changed his life’s trajectory was Marlo Thomas.
The book claims that the two met in 1977 in Chicago, when Phil was bringing four children with him. His fifth child, a daughter, lived somewhere else with her mother and ex-wife.
Marlo and Phil dated for three years before being married in 1980 in front of a small wedding party of thirty-five guests.
Not surprise, Marlo’s friends and family were taken aback by the actress’s sudden change of heart. A hilarious story of Marlo’s bridal shower, where visitors hung notes from the soon-to-be bride that disclosed her past views on marriage, is featured in the couple’s book.
The book claims that Marlo’s mother was the most shocked of all, asking Donahue, “How did you get her to do this?” throughout the nuptials of the pair.
Reportedly, among other emotions, even total strangers voiced shock at the well-known social activist’s decision to get married. While Phil was in the lavatory, a passenger on the airplane the couple took to Greece for their honeymoon expressed displeasure to Marlo, presumably disappointed that she had given up her old independent streak.
In the book, Thomas is honest enough to acknowledge that something was unclear when they spoke. After all her life condemning marriage, was she suddenly a hypocrite for getting married? Had she let those down who held her in high regard as the embodiment of self-reliance?
Even though Donahue and Thomas discuss the usual ups and downs of their long marriage in the book, they manage to make their marriage work to this day. They describe these problems as teaching moments that deepened their relationship.
The couple had been apart from the beginning of their marriage, with Phil traveling to Chicago to tape his show and Marlo traveling to pursue her acting career.
Thomas had a greater understanding of how different individuals define marriage when his aunt said that the couple’s union was void because they weren’t living together exclusively. In spite of their separation, Thomas and Donahue were able to keep their marriage together. Significantly, Marlo’s marriage resulted in her having children.
In a 2012 interview with AARP, Thomas reflected on her experience helping Phil raise his kids, stating she went into it knowing that they already had a traditional mother and that would not be her role.
Rather, Marlo claims that she began to treat Phil’s children more like friends in an effort to mimic the parenting style of her own mother. She continues by saying that she feels more connected to them today than she did at the start of their marriage.
Donahue points out that Thomas really did strive to understand the lads in the book and spent as much time as she could getting to know his sons.
Phil and Marlo believe that their long marriage is a result of her strong bond with his kids and their mutual faith in each other. “You build trust when you realize that this person always has your back,” says Marlo in clarification.
Despite being married for more than 40 years, they still have more memories to make.
Phil goes on to argue that a marriage has to be desired by both parties in order for it to last. Marlo says she would never want to be anything other than married to her lover, echoing his sentiments. She claims that Donahue has assisted her “in every manner possible.”
When two people truly commit to one another, marriage is an incredibly lovely union that is made much more beautiful.
These two have a lot to teach and inspire us all. As satisfying as their relationship is, we should all strive to be in one!
My Husband’s Best Friend Came to Our Family Dinner – After He Left, Our 7-Year-Old Daughter Stopped Talking for Months
When my husband’s best friend, Brian, came over for a casual family dinner, I never imagined it would change our lives forever. But after that night, our daughter stopped speaking, and as the silence stretched on, we uncovered a devastating betrayal that shattered her innocence.
I still don’t know how to make sense of everything that happened. Maybe if I write it down, it’ll help. Maybe someone will understand or tell me I’m not crazy for feeling like this.
A thoughtful woman | Source: Pexels
It started with a family dinner. Tom’s best friend Brian was coming over, as he had so many times before. Brian and Tom had been inseparable since middle school, practically brothers.
Brian was around for every big and small moment in our lives. If something needed fixing, he was there with his toolbox. If we had a BBQ, he was there with a cooler and a smile. He was more than a friend; he was family.
A happy man | Source: Pexels
Emily, our daughter, adored him. She’d race to the door every time he came over, practically bouncing with excitement. “Brian! Brian!” she’d shout, wrapping her little arms around his legs, her eyes wide and bright. He’d always laugh and scoop her up.
“Hey, kiddo,” he’d say, grinning, giving her a playful noogie. “How’s my favorite girl?”
A man playing with a little girl | Source: Pexels
That night felt no different—just pizza, laughter, and catching up. Tom was running late from work, so I called Brian to pick up the food. He came in with a big grin, balancing two pizza boxes in one hand and holding a small gift bag with the other.
“Look what Uncle Brian brought,” he said, handing the bag to Emily. Inside was a small stuffed puppy. Emily’s eyes lit up.
“Thank you!” she squealed, hugging the toy. “I love him!”
A girl with a plush toy | Source: Pexels
Brian chuckled, ruffling her hair. “I thought you might, kiddo.”
We settled in for dinner, chatting about little things. Brian cracked his usual jokes, making us all laugh. Emily was glued to his side, asking him about everything under the sun.
“Why do dogs have tails?”
“To wag when they’re happy,” he answered with a smile.
“Why don’t cats have big tails like dogs?”
A man and a little girl blowing at a candle on a cupcake | Source: Pexels
“Oh, that’s ’cause cats are sneaky. They don’t need ‘em as much,” he replied, making Emily giggle.
As we were finishing up, I realized we were out of drinks. Tom still hadn’t arrived, so I turned to Brian.
“Do you mind staying with Emily for a few minutes while I run to the store?”
Brian shrugged, waving a hand. “Of course not. Go on, we’ll be just fine.”
A smiling man on a couch | Source: Freepik
“Thanks. I’ll be back in ten minutes,” I said, grabbing my keys. I knew Emily was in good hands. Brian was practically family, after all.
When I got back, I saw Brian by the door, looking… different. He wasn’t his usual self—he seemed tense, almost… nervous. He barely looked at me as he grabbed his coat.
“Everything alright?” I asked, frowning.
“Yeah, yeah,” he said quickly, not meeting my eyes. “I just—uh, something came up. Gotta run. Tell Tom I’ll catch him later.”
A sad man | Source: Pexels
Then he was out the door, barely waiting for me to say goodbye. I felt a strange chill but brushed it off. It was Brian. He’d never given me a reason to doubt him before.
After that night, everything changed. Emily, my bubbly, talkative daughter, went silent.
At first, I didn’t think too much of it. Kids have off days. Maybe she was tired or upset that Brian left so suddenly. But by the next day, she still wasn’t talking.
A sad girl | Source: Pexels
She went through breakfast without a word, not even looking up when I put her favorite waffles on the table. When I tried to draw her out with a story or a question, she just shrugged or looked down, her fingers tracing little circles on her plate.
“Emily, honey,” I asked gently, “are you mad about something? Did something happen with Brian?”
She just looked at me, her big, sad eyes filling with tears, then shook her head and went to her room.
A crying girl | Source: Pexels
Tom tried talking to her, too. “Em, sweetie, you know you can tell Daddy anything, right?” he coaxed, crouching down to her eye level.
Emily just nodded, her lips pressed tightly together. She clutched the little stuffed puppy Brian had given her like it was the only thing holding her together. I tried to brush it off as a phase, or maybe a delayed reaction to a bad dream. But a mother knows when something’s really wrong.
A little girl crying | Source: Pexels
By the third day, I knew it wasn’t just a phase. My heart ached as I watched my little girl, once so full of life, withdraw into herself. She wouldn’t go to the park. She didn’t want to color or play. When she spoke, it was short, single words—”yes,” “no,” “fine”—like she was afraid to say anything more.
Tom and I began to worry something terrible had happened. We took her to the pediatrician, who ran every test, checked her hearing, even her vision.
A doctor examining a girl | Source: Pexels
Everything was normal. Then we went to a child therapist, but after several sessions, the therapist pulled us aside and told us they couldn’t figure out why Emily had retreated into silence.
Weeks turned into months, and Emily still hadn’t returned to her old self. She went through the motions but never spoke more than she had to. Tom and I tried every gentle way we knew to get her to open up, but it was like she’d locked herself in a place we couldn’t reach. Our lives felt wrapped in a strange, unspoken grief.
A sad child at school | Source: Pexels
And then, one morning, after five long months, Emily finally broke her silence. I was buckling her into her car seat, about to take her to school, when she looked up at me, her eyes wide and scared.
“Will you leave me there forever?” she whispered, barely above a breath.
Her words hit me like a punch to the chest. “What? Emily, why would you say that?” I asked, my voice breaking.
A shocked woman | Source: Freepik
Her lower lip quivered. “Brian said… he said I’m not really yours. He said you’re going to leave me like my real parents did.”
My heart shattered. I could feel the blood drain from my face as I struggled to hold back tears. Tom and I had always planned to tell Emily she was adopted, but when she was old enough to understand it in a safe, loving way.
A sad, thoughtful woman | Source: Pexels
“Emily, listen to me,” I said, trying to steady my voice. “You are ours. We love you more than anything. Brian was wrong to say those things. We would never leave you. Ever.”
She looked at me, her eyes searching mine for something to hold on to, then nodded slowly. Her shoulders relaxed a little, but I could still see the doubt lingering in her face. That night, when Tom came home, I told him everything. He was furious, hurt beyond words, but we were both more focused on Emily’s recovery.
A woman hugging her daughter | Source: Pexels
After that, Emily began talking again, slowly at first, but I could see she was still scared. I tried reaching out to Brian. He didn’t answer. Every call, every text went unanswered. Months went by, and it felt like Brian had vanished from our lives without a trace. Tom wanted to confront him in person, but we didn’t even know where he was anymore.
Then, one evening, out of the blue, I got a message from him. “Can we meet? I need to explain.”
A woman looking at her phone | Source: Pexels
Against Tom’s better judgment, I agreed to meet him. I needed answers. When I saw Brian, he looked like he’d been through hell—tired, thinner, his face hollowed out by something I didn’t recognize.
“I’m sorry,” he said as soon as we sat down, his voice barely more than a whisper. “I never meant to hurt her… or you.”
“Then why, Brian?” I asked, my voice edged with the months of anger and confusion. “Why would you tell her that?”
A man and a woman having a serious talk | Source: Freepik
He took a shaky breath. “I found out I was adopted that day,” he said, looking down. “Right before I came over. My parents never told me. My whole life, I thought they were my real parents. And then, just like that, I find out they’re not. It broke me.”
I stared at him, speechless. “So you decided to hurt Emily? To throw that on a child?”
An angry woman | Source: Pexels
His face crumpled. “I wasn’t thinking straight. She was just so innocent, so trusting. I don’t know why I said it. I was… I was lost in my own pain, and I thought maybe… I don’t know, maybe she should know the truth before it’s too late.”
I shook my head, hardly able to look at him. “Brian, she’s seven. She’s just a child. That was our truth to tell her when the time was right, not yours.”
A man covering his face with his hands | Source: Pexels
“I know. I’ve been punishing myself for it every day since. I don’t expect you to forgive me, but I just… I needed you to know. I’m sorry.”
I left the meeting feeling hollow, burdened with a sadness I couldn’t shake. Brian wasn’t evil. He was broken, and his pain had shattered the innocent trust my daughter had in the world. But it didn’t change the fact that we had to pick up the pieces.
A sad woman deep in thought | Source: Pexels
Since that day, he hasn’t reached out again. Emily is doing better, but there’s still a part of her that hesitates, that questions.
If you liked this story, consider checking out this one: Life sure has a way of surprising you when you least expect it. Just when you think everything’s going according to plan, something or someone comes along and flips your whole world upside down. But sometimes, those moments that seem like the end of everything turn out to be just the beginning.
This work is inspired by real events and people, but it has been fictionalized for creative purposes. Names, characters, and details have been changed to protect privacy and enhance the narrative. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.
The author and publisher make no claims to the accuracy of events or the portrayal of characters and are not liable for any misinterpretation. This story is provided “as is,” and any opinions expressed are those of the characters and do not reflect the views of the author or publisher.
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