According to a survey, only 14% of couples sleep in separate beds every night. And while many of us might believe in the saying “couples who sleep apart grow apart” there are studies that show the opposite is actually true.
We at Bright Side believe that there are no wrong or right sleep arrangements, because to some, sleeping in different beds can be as pleasing as for others sharing a bed with their partner.
A poor night’s sleep can turn lovers into fighters.
According to research, sharing a bed with a partner that has restless sleep behavior can deprive you of 49 minutes of sleep each night. And, when one partner doesn’t get a proper night’s sleep because of the other, it will most likely result in a conflict between them the next day.
Actually, the study even confirmed that couples who tend to have a poor night’s sleep have more severe and more frequent fights than those who wake up well-rested. People who get a good night’s sleep, on the other hand, are more likely to be in a good mood, have lower stress levels, and be more patient.
Resenting your partner because you can’t get a good night’s sleep can be destructive to the relationship.
Snoring, fidgeting, and bed or blanket hogging are just a few of many reasons why some couples choose to sleep in different beds or even in different bedrooms. Lying awake listening to your partner snoring while you beat yourself up to fall asleep can lead to a build-up of anger, tension, and resentment toward your partner.
According to Jennifer Adams, author of Sleeping Apart Not Falling Apart, sleeping in a separate bedroom can even help a relationship thrive because both partners are not sleep deprived.
Each partner can tailor their sleeping conditions to their heart’s content.
Tina Cooper, a licensed social worker, sleeps in different bedrooms with her partner because of their opposite sleeping habits. “I’m a night owl, he’s an early bird. I need soothing sounds to fall asleep, and he likes silence. He likes a hard mattress, and I like soft and full of pillows. And because I don’t like the early day’s sunlight, my boyfriend gave me the master bedroom which gets less light and he has the second largest room that gets the sunrise he loves.”
How you spend the nighttime in your shared bedroom with your partner can also influence your daytime functioning, marital satisfaction, and psychological and physical health. And when 2 people with different bedtime preferences and nighttime schedules end up together, changing themselves just to please their partner’s needs might harm their relationship in the long run.
Sleeping in different bedrooms with your partner means that the 2 of you will have a place just for yourselves where you can relax after an exhausting day. This way, both of you can satisfy your needs without tiptoeing around and worrying about whether your partner might wake up because you want to watch the latest episode of your show before bed.
Even if you don’t remember waking up, disturbed sleep can have a negative impact on your overall health.
During the night, our brain cycles through the stages of sleep several times: light sleep, deep sleep, and REM (Rapid eye movement sleep). But when you interrupt the cycle by waking up during the night, it means that your brain spends more time in the light sleep stage and misses out on REM. And without sufficient REM your emotional well-being and cognitive performance suffer.
Interrupted sleep can also have short and long-term health consequences, like hypertension, weight-related issues, mental health problems, reduced quality of life, and other health-related issues.
People on Reddit share why they decided to sleep separately with their partner.
- “Because a good night’s sleep is more romantic than sharing a bed. I snore and toss and turn. He gives off literal village levels of heat in his sleep and I can’t stand the heat. I read, he can’t stand light. We keep different hours to an extent. A million reasons. We get along so much better this way.” — crankyweasels
- “My partner and I have completely separate bedrooms. We ’sleepover’ occasionally in each other’s rooms. However, we both sleep exponentially better apart. He’s a night owl and I’m an early bird. He wants only one sheet on him, I want 10 lbs of blankets. In addition, having a separate room allows me to decorate it however I want, have my own personal space, and keep it to the level of cleanliness I prefer. People look at us sideways when I mention the separate rooms thing, but it’s been a game-changer.” — eriasana
- “Different sleep cycles due to different work schedules. We are still madly in love and we both agreed to this because it’s the best for both of us.” — AFishInATank
- “Early in our relationship, 90% of our fights occurred in the bedroom. I like to sleep in a cold room with the fan on and white noise like a box fan. I also like to go to sleep with the TV on. She likes to sleep in a warm, still, cave in complete silence and darkness. We started sleeping in separate rooms and all of a sudden 90% of our fights stopped. Also, because we were getting real sleep, other fights turned more into heated discussions.” — ttc8420
What are your sleeping arrangements with your partner? Do you believe sleeping in different beds can help a relationship thrive?
A wayward mouse undergoes “rehabilitation” after consuming a cannabis plant
Farmers often face challenges from pests like rodents and insects that threaten their crops and spread diseases. In an amusing incident in New Brunswick, Canada, a mouse was found in a cannabis field, appearing “stoned” and passed out on a pile of leaves.
Colin Sullivan spotted the mouse raiding his garden for two consecutive days and shared pictures of the little critter enjoying the leaves before it succumbed. Eventually, the mouse was discovered lying on its back, seemingly unwell.
Sullivan decided to care for the mouse, placing it in a cage to help it recover. After six days, the mouse was healthy enough to return to the wild. Sullivan humorously recounted the experience on Facebook, saying: “I watched this little rascal munch on my plants until he dozed off”. He also noted that the mouse, missing one ear, might have been trying to cope with some stress, prompting him to intervene and provide a safe space for recovery.
Sullivan updated his followers about the mouse’s condition, stating it had a rough time but was gradually getting better, now eating just one leaf a day. “One day at a time”, he advised. When the mouse was finally released from “rehab”, Sullivan celebrated its recovery with a playful post titled “On The Rodent To Redemption”, highlighting the mouse’s journey and the importance of supporting those in recovery.
His posts garnered massive attention, with the first receiving over 461,000 shares and the follow-up accumulating more than 6,400 shares and 1,500 comments filled with jokes and encouragement. Commenters expressed their delight in the mouse’s recovery, with one suggesting that it might have experienced a wild adventure, while another thanked Sullivan for caring for the little creature.
Sullivan, who has personal experience with substance detox, dedicated a heartfelt message to his wife, Robyn, crediting her support for his long-term sobriety. Many people who initially came for the story of the mouse found themselves inspired by Sullivan’s message of hope and recovery. Cannabis became legal in Canada in 2018, with each province, including New Brunswick, establishing its own regulations.
The New Brunswick government emphasizes creating a responsible culture around cannabis use, educating the public on health implications, and reaping the economic benefits of the industry. In this province, individuals must be 19 or older to consume cannabis, and possession is limited to 30 grams. Public consumption is prohibited, and landlords can restrict tenants from smoking or growing cannabis, although they cannot prohibit cannabis use if tobacco smoking is allowed. It’s essential for New Brunswick residents to understand the risks of cannabis use to make informed decisions.
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