Navigating changes in a relationship, particularly those related to physical appearance, can be a delicate and emotional journey. A Bright Side reader is having a hard time after his wife underwent plastic surgery. He shared a letter with us seeking our advice.
He shared his side of the story.
Here are some tips that we believe can help you.
- Reflect on Your Feelings: Take some time to reflect on your feelings and understand why the changes in your wife’s appearance are affecting you. Are your concerns purely aesthetic, or do they come from deeper emotional reasons? Understanding your own feelings will help you communicate more effectively with your wife.
- Communicate Honestly and Compassionately: Approach the topic with empathy and compassion. Let your wife know that you love her deeply and that your concerns come from a place of care. Use «I» statements to express your feelings without placing blame.
- Focus on Emotions, Not Criticism: Avoid criticizing your wife’s appearance directly. Instead, focus on expressing how the changes make you feel. For example, you might say, «I miss the unique features that made you who you are,» rather than, «You don’t look like yourself anymore.»
- Reassure Her of Your Love: Make sure your wife knows that your love for her goes beyond physical appearance. Reassure her that you’re committed to supporting her through any challenges she faces, including those related to self-image.
- Encourage Open Dialogue: Encourage open and honest communication between the two of you. Create a safe space where both of you feel comfortable expressing your thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment.
- Seek Professional Help If Needed: If you find it difficult to navigate these conversations on your own, consider seeking the help of a therapist or counselor. A professional can provide guidance and support as you work through your feelings together.
- Focus on Shared Activities: Spend quality time together engaging in activities that you both enjoy. Focus on building emotional intimacy and strengthening your bond as a couple.
- Support Her Self-Esteem: Encourage your wife to focus on aspects of herself that she feels confident about, aside from her appearance. Remind her of her strengths and accomplishments.
- Be Patient and Understanding: Remember that adjusting to changes in appearance can be a complex process, and it may take time for both of you to adapt. Be patient with each other and offer support along the way.
- Explore Ways to Reconnect: Find ways to reconnect as a couple and reignite the spark in your relationship. Whether it’s through shared hobbies, romantic gestures, or simply spending quality time together, prioritize nurturing your connection.
By approaching the situation with empathy, understanding, and open communication, you can navigate this challenging time with grace and compassion.
‘DWTS’ star, mocked as orphan for spotty skin, dies at 29, – adoptive mom dies next day
The ballet world is mourning the death of Dancing with the Stars’ Michaela Mabinty DePrince, an inspirational ballerina who beat staggering odds to become one of the world’s most famous dancers.
Michaela, an orphan from war-torn Sierra Leone, was a dancer with the Boston Ballet who gained widespread notoriety after starring in the 2011 documentary First Position. She died September 10 at only 29.
Adding to the family’s tragic loss, Michaela’s adoptive mom – who rescued Michaela from the filthy shelter where she was told she was “too ugly” to find a family – died only 24 hours later.
After her father was brutally killed in war-torn Sierra Leone and her mother died from fever, four-year-old Michaela Mabinty DePrince was abandoned by her uncle in a shelter where staff every day tried to break her spirit.
Known then as “Number 27” a young Michaela had little hope of finding a family as she had vitiligo, a condition that causes patches of skin to lose pigmentation.
The young girl, called “the devil child” because of her patchy skin, was told repeatedly that she was too ugly to be picked.
“We were all ranked from the most favored to the least, and I was at the very bottom for being rebellious and having a skin condition called vitiligo, which produces white freckles on my neck and chest,” Michaela said, adding she slept on a grass sleeping mat with “Number 26.”
Aside from the vomit-stained nightgown she was wearing, all she had was a magazine, which according to Glamour had (literally) blown onto her face. And on the cover was a ballerina en pointe – a dancer supporting all her body weight on the tips of her toes.
“The dancer looked beautiful and happy, that’s what caught my eye,” Michaela tells Glamour. “I wanted to be happy.”
And the crumpled old photo of the ballerina was the first thing she handed Elaine DePrince, who took her to her new home in New Jersey.
“There was so much love right away,” said Michaela, who over the next two decades would be the prima ballerina on the cover of magazines. “I had never been surrounded by something like that.”
‘My life is proof’
Michaela’s passion for dancing was ignited at a young age, and she pursued her dreams with remarkable dedication.
In 2011, Michaela became one of the stars of First Position, a documentary that followed six gifted dancers leading up to the competition for a place in the prestigious American Ballet Theatre’s Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis School of Ballet (JKO)
She not only earned a spot but was also awarded a scholarship to study at JKO.
The same year the award-winning documentary was released, Michaela also appeared on Dancing with the Stars.
“My life is proof that no matter what situation you’re in, as long as you have a supportive family, you can achieve anything,” Michaela said.
In 2012, the talented ballerina joined the renowned Dance Theatre of Harlem, where she continued to shine as a rising star. Her exceptional talent and grace later led her to the Dutch National Ballet, where the War Child Ambassador further established herself as a formidable presence in the ballet world.
While she was living in Amsterdam and training for The Nutcracker, she received a call, inviting her to travel to New Orleans and dance in Beyonce’s hour-long video, Lemonade, which was released in 2016.
Speaking with the Wall Street Journal of meeting the pop sensation, Michaela said, “She walked up to me and said, ‘It’s such an honor to have you here.’ I was really cheesy and said, ‘The honor is mine.’ I was on cloud nine.”
‘Beacon of hope’
On September 10, her family released a heartbreaking message about the principal soloist with the Boston Ballet.
“Rest in Power,” the post starts about the dancer who died on September 10. “With pain in our hearts, we share the loss of star ballerina Michaela Mabinty DePrince, whose artistry touched countless hearts and whose spirit inspired many, leaving an indelible mark on the world of ballet, and beyond.”
The Facebook post describes Michaela as an inspiration who “stood as a beacon of hope for many, showing that no matter the obstacles, beauty and greatness can rise from the darkest of places.”
The cause of her death has not yet been released.
Mom ‘spared the pain’
Only 24 hours after Michaela’s sudden death, her doting adoptive mom Elaine DePrince died on September 11 “during a routine procedure in preparation for a surgery.”
A family statement on Facebook explains that at the time of Elaine’s death, she was unaware that her daughter had died.
“As unbelievable as it may seem, the two deaths were completely unrelated. The only way we can make sense of the senseless is that Elaine, who had already lost three children many years ago, was by the grace of God spared the pain of experiencing the loss of a fourth child.” The message continues, “What the family is going through right now is truly unimaginably painful. Grieving two family members who died within a 24-hour period is tragic and devastating. We continue to ask for privacy…”
Rest in peace Michaela and Elaine. Please share your thoughts with us and then share this story so we can all send a lot of love to the family and friends of this mother-daughter duo.
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