Falling in love is a magical experience. It’s filled with excitement, butterflies, and a deep desire to make the best impression on the person we adore. In those early stages, we often tweak our behavior, carefully curating how we present ourselves. Something as simple as avoiding lollipops—fearing it may make us seem childish—symbolizes this phase of self-conscious love.
However, as a relationship matures, especially after marriage, things change. The need to impress fades, and the comfort of unconditional acceptance sets in. That once-hidden love for lollipops (or any quirky habit) resurfaces, representing a return to one’s true self.
Why Do We Hide Our True Selves in the Beginning?
When we first start dating, we unknowingly step into a highlight reel version of ourselves. We filter our habits, polish our words, and refine our actions to seem more attractive. But why?
1. The Desire to Impress
At the start of a relationship, we want to be seen in the best light. Whether it’s dressing perfectly, avoiding certain foods, or hiding silly habits, we make an effort to be someone our partner will admire.
2. Fear of Being Judged
We all have quirks—maybe you love collecting action figures, singing off-key in the shower, or eating candy like a child. But in the early stages, there’s a fear that revealing too much too soon could push the other person away.
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3. Society’s Expectations
Romantic relationships, especially new ones, are often shaped by social norms and expectations. Acting “mature” or “refined” seems like the right thing to do, even if it means suppressing natural instincts like enjoying a simple lollipop.
How Marriage Changes Everything
Marriage is not just about love; it’s about comfort, trust, and deep acceptance. Once you’ve committed to each other for life, the need to impress fades, and true personalities begin to shine.
1. The Comfort of Being Yourself
In a long-term relationship, you stop overthinking every action. You no longer worry if eating candy makes you seem childish, if watching cartoons is immature, or if wearing pajamas all day is unattractive. You embrace your true self because you know your partner loves you for who you are, not for the polished version you once presented.
2. Love Shifts from Attraction to Connection
Attraction may have sparked the relationship, but emotional connection sustains it. What makes a marriage strong is genuine companionship, built on shared experiences and authenticity. That means letting your guard down—whether that’s laughing at silly jokes, dancing like no one’s watching, or, yes, eating that lollipop with pride.
3. Unconditional Acceptance
Real love isn’t about impressing; it’s about accepting. Marriage teaches you that your quirks, habits, and imperfections are what make you unique—and those are often the things your partner grows to love the most.
The Evolution of Love: From Perfection to Authenticity
Every relationship goes through stages of transformation. The love that starts with perfection-seeking gradually matures into comfort-driven authenticity.
Stage 1: The “Best Behavior” Phase
In the beginning, you avoid anything that might make you seem less attractive or mature. You wear your best clothes, avoid messy foods, and pretend you don’t binge-watch cartoons.
Stage 2: The Gradual Unveiling
As you get more comfortable, little pieces of the real you start slipping out. Maybe you start eating lollipops in front of your partner, or you admit to loving cheesy romance novels. You test the waters to see if they still find you charming despite your quirks.
Stage 3: The Marriage Comfort Zone
By the time you’re married, there’s no need for facades. You eat what you want, laugh as loudly as you please, and fully embrace your unique personality. Your partner loves you for all of it—including the quirks you once tried to hide.
What This Teaches Us About True Love
1. You Deserve to Be Loved for Who You Are
If you feel the need to hide parts of yourself to keep someone interested, they may not be the right person for you. The right relationship allows you to be yourself from the start.
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2. Authenticity Leads to Deeper Connections
Love isn’t about pretending to be perfect—it’s about being real, raw, and vulnerable. The more you embrace your true self, the stronger your bond will be.
3. The Best Relationships Feel Like Home
In a lasting love story, your partner becomes your safe space—the person with whom you can be 100% yourself. If eating lollipops brings you joy, they won’t just accept it; they’ll probably buy you a lifetime supply.
Final Thoughts: Love is About Being Yourself
At the start of a relationship, it’s natural to want to impress, but true love is about acceptance, not perfection. The shift from hiding small quirks to embracing them openly is a sign of a healthy, growing relationship.
So, if you ever hesitated to eat a lollipop because you were afraid of being judged—go ahead and unwrap it now. If you’re with the right person, they’ll love watching you enjoy it.
Dan Haggerty, Who Played Grizzly Adams
Dan Haggerty, who gained widespread recognition for his portrayal of the kind mountain man with a striking beard and his bear friend Ben in the NBC television series and 1974 film “The Life and Times of Grizzly Adams,” passed away on Friday in Burbank, California. His age was 73 years.
Terry Bomar, his manager and friend, stated that spinal cancer was the cause of death.
Dan Haggerty was creating a name for himself in Hollywood as an animal handler and stuntman before landing his famous part. When a producer requested him to appear in a few opening moments for a film about a woodsman and his bear, it was his big break. The plot, which is based on a novel by Charles Sellier Jr., centers on a man who flees to the woods after being wrongfully convicted of murder, becomes friends with the local wildlife, and takes in an abandoned bear.
Haggerty accepted to do the part, but he had one requirement: he had to appear in the whole film. Despite having a relatively low budget of $165,000, the film’s remake brought in close to $30 million at the box office. Because of this popularity, a television series was created, and in February 1977, Haggerty went back to playing the character of the wild and outdoorsy wilderness guardian.
The audience responded well to the show. It lukewarms the heart, as The New York Times’ John Leonard observed in his review. A large lump in the throat and a lot of communing with nature are experienced when a man and a bear hide out in a log cabin. Haggerty won a 1978 People’s Choice Award for being the most well-liked actor in a new series because of the series’ warm and sympathetic tone, which won over a lot of viewers.
The series also yielded two follow-ups: “Legend of the Wild,” which was broadcast on television in 1978 and eventually released in theaters in 1981, and “The Capture of Grizzly Adams,” a 1982 television film in which Adams ultimately exonerates himself of the false charge.
Born in Los Angeles on November 19, 1942, Daniel Francis Haggerty had a difficult upbringing. He had a turbulent childhood, breaking out of military school several times before coming home with his actor-father in Burbank when his parents divorced when he was three years old.
Haggerty was married twice in his personal life. When he was 17, he got married to Diane Rooker, but they later got divorced. In 2008, he lost his second wife, Samantha Hilton, in a horrific motorbike accident. His children, Don, Megan, Tracy, Dylan, and Cody, survive him.
In his debut motion picture, “Muscle Beach Party” (1964), Haggerty portrayed bodybuilder Biff. After that, he played supporting parts in motorcycle and wildlife movies. He was a hippie commune member in “Easy Rider.” He also played the role off-screen, living with a variety of wild creatures he had either tamed or rescued on a small ranch in Malibu Canyon.
His expertise with animals led to positions as an animal trainer and stuntman for television shows including “Daktari” and “Tarzan.” He kept taking on parts like “Where the North Wind Blows” (1974) and “The Adventures of Frontier Fremont” (1976) that highlighted his affinity for the natural world. His love of outdoor parts brought him roles evoking Grizzly Adams to movies like “Grizzly Mountain” (1997) and “Escape to Grizzly Mountain” (2000).
Haggerty had appearances in a number of horror movies later in his career, such as “Terror Night” (1987) and “Elves” (1989). He was involved in court in 1985 and was given a 90-day jail sentence for distributing cocaine to police officers who were undercover.
Tragic incidents also occurred in his life. Haggerty suffered third-degree burns to his arms when a diner carrying a burning drink unintentionally caught his renowned beard on fire in 1977 when he was dining. Despite being admitted to the hospital and supposed to stay for a month, he left after just ten days, claiming to have expertise of curing animals.
“The first couple of days I just lay in the dark room drinking water, like a wounded wolf trying to heal myself,” he said, reflecting on his injury, to People magazine.
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