Get ready to ho-ho-howl with laughter! These 10 Christmas jokes are packed with holiday cheer and cheeky humor to keep your spirits bright. Whether you need a quick laugh or a joke to share at the holiday table, these festive funnies will surely bring everyone joy!
Ah, Christmas! The time of year when everything sparkles, people get a little more generous, and we all pretend fruitcake is something we look forward to eating.
A woman sitting at a table with a plate of fruitcake | Source: Pexels
The holiday season is full of cheer, and it’s also a great time for laughter. Whether you’re cozy by the fireplace or stuck at a family gathering looking for a way to break the ice, these jokes are sure to bring a smile.
So grab your hot cocoa, settle in, and get ready to chuckle with these festive funnies!
A Christmas Test at Heaven’s Gates
Three men find themselves at the pearly gates of heaven on Christmas Eve. Saint Peter meets them with a stern look and a challenge.
St. Peter standing at heaven’s gates | Source: Midjourney
“To get into heaven tonight, you each need to show me something that represents Christmas.”
The first man digs into his pockets, pulls out a match, and lights it. “This is a Christmas candle,” he says with a hopeful smile.
“Impressive,” Saint Peter says and waves him through.
A man holding a lit match | Source: Pexels
The second man reaches into his jacket and jangles a set of keys. “These are Christmas bells,” he grins.
Saint Peter nods, letting him pass.
Then, the third man steps up, pulling out a pair of red panties.
Puzzled, Saint Peter asks, “And what on earth do these have to do with Christmas?”
Women’s underwear | Source: Unsplash
The man smirks, “They’re Carol’s.”
If that joke didn’t light your Christmas candle, this next one might leave you laughing all the way to New Year’s Day. It’s a story of holiday hangovers, memory lapses, and a husband waking up to a Christmas surprise he definitely wasn’t expecting.
The Hungover Husband’s Christmas Surprise
Paul wakes up groggy and disoriented after his company’s Christmas party. He can barely remember how he got home, and his pounding headache isn’t helping.
A man sitting on the side of the bed | Source: Pexels
As he pries his eyes open, he notices a glass of water, two aspirin, and a single red rose on his nightstand. His clothes are neatly folded, and the room is spotless. In the bathroom, he notices he has a black eye, and his wife has left him a note on the mirror.
“Darling, breakfast is on the stove. I left early to pick up groceries for your favorite dinner tonight. I love you!”
In the kitchen, a full breakfast is waiting, and his son is already at the table.
A boy eating breakfast | Source: Midjourney
Paul asks his son, “What happened last night?”
“Well, you got home super late, totally drunk, and made a mess. You tripped over the coffee table, broke it, and smashed into the door, giving yourself that black eye.”
Confused, Paul stammers, “Then why is everything so perfect this morning?”
A confused man | Source: Midjourney
His son shrugs, “Oh, that’s easy. When Mum tried to take off your pants, you yelled, ‘Leave me alone! I’m married!’”
Let’s keep it going with a military twist on Christmas wishes. Sometimes, what you ask for isn’t exactly what you get, especially when you’re stationed away from home. This one’s for anyone who knows the struggles of life in uniform during the holidays.
The Soldier’s Christmas Wish
Two soldiers are in the mess hall chatting about past Christmas memories.
Two soldiers chatting | Source: Midjourney
“I’ll never forget that one Christmas,” the first soldier says. “I spent an entire week peeling potatoes.”
“What happened?” his friend asks.
“Well, the sergeant asked what I wanted for Christmas,” he recalls.
“And what did you ask for?”
A soldier | Source: Pexels
“A new sergeant,” the first soldier replies.
Ready for a joke that’s heaven-sent? This next story features a monk who spent years copying ancient texts, only to uncover a little mistake that could change everything. It’s a reminder that even the holiest of tasks can come with a hilarious twist!
The Monastic Misprint
A monk named David had spent years copying ancient religious texts by hand. He worked hard at his job and dedicated himself to upholding his vows to be obedient and celibate and free himself from the desire for possessions.
A devout monk working on religious texts | Source: Midjourney
One day, shortly before Christmas, the head abbot entrusted David with the task of verifying the original manuscripts had been copied and translated precisely, word-for-word.
On Christmas day, David was nowhere to be found. Eventually, the head abbot located him in the archives, crying uncontrollably.
“Brother David, what’s wrong?” the abbot asked.
“All this time… we’ve been copying it wrong,” David sobbed.
“Copying what wrong?” the abbot pressed.
A monk and an abbot looking at religious texts | Source: Midjourney
“The word wasn’t ‘celibate’… it was ‘celebrate’!”
If you thought that last one was divine, the next joke shows us that sometimes family drama isn’t what it appears to be.
The Holiday Season Break-up
The day before Christmas, a father in Brisbane calls his son in Sydney.
“Sorry to ruin your holiday,” the dad says, “but your mother and I are divorcing. I just can’t take it anymore.”
A man making a phone call | Source: Midjourney
Shocked, the son yells, “What? No, don’t do anything until I get there! I’m calling my sister.”
Moments later, the daughter phones her dad, furious. “You are NOT getting divorced! My brother and I will be there tomorrow. Don’t do a single thing!”
The father hangs up and turns to his wife.
A solemn man glancing to one side | Source: Midjourney
He grins widely and tells her, “Well, that’s our Christmas plans sorted. The kids are on their way and they’re paying for their own travel expenses!”
Let’s keep the laughs rolling with a little tale about early Christmas shopping. You know that feeling when you’re just a bit too eager to grab your gifts? Well, this next joke proves that timing is everything — even when it comes to snagging those holiday deals earlier than expected.
The Early Christmas Shopper
A man stands trial during the Christmas season. The judge asks the defendant, “Mr. Jones, what exactly are you accused of doing?”
A judge in a courtroom | Source: Midjourney
“Your honor, I was just doing my Christmas shopping early,” the man says innocently.
“There’s nothing illegal about that,” the judge replies. “What time did you start?”
“Before the store opened.”
A somber man | Source: Midjourney
Time for a trip to the airport, where holiday cheer meets travel stress in the best way possible. Even if you’re not a fan of mistletoe, this next joke might make you look twice before checking in your bags this Christmas season.
Airport Mistletoe Mishap
Dave wasn’t feeling the holiday spirit as he waited at the airport just before Christmas. He noticed some mistletoe hanging above the luggage scale.
Mistletoe at the airport | Source: Midjourney
Annoyed, he told the airline attendant, “Even if we were dating, I wouldn’t kiss you under such tacky mistletoe.”
The attendant smirked, “Sir, that mistletoe isn’t for you to kiss me. It’s there so you can kiss your luggage goodbye.”
Hold onto your Santa hats because this next joke features a kid with a very “creative” approach to getting his Christmas wishes granted.
Man talking to airline attendant at the luggage area | Source: Midjourney
When it comes to writing letters to Santa (or Jesus), this boy takes negotiation tactics to a whole new level.
The Kid’s Christmas Bargain
A little boy starts writing his Christmas letter to Santa, but his mom interrupts him.
“You’ve been so naughty this year,” she scolds. “You’d better write that letter to Jesus instead.”
A child sitting at a table | Source: Midjourney
He thinks for a moment, then begins writing to Jesus, but quickly realizes he can’t lie about being good. Frustrated, he goes for a walk to clear his mind and spots a nativity scene.
Suddenly, he snatches the statue of Mary.
Returning home, he starts his new letter: “Dear Jesus, if you ever want to see your mother again…”
From a mischievous kid to a quick-witted teen, our next joke shows that sometimes biblical excuses can go hilariously wrong.
A Christmas nativity scene | Source: Pexels
It’s a classic case of trying to outsmart a parent — only to learn an unexpected lesson.
Long Hair, Don’t Care
After acing his exams and diligently studying the Bible, Danny asks his clergyman father if he can get a car for Christmas.
“You’ve done great with your studies,” his father says. “But I’m disappointed you haven’t cut your hair.”
A teen boy | Source: Midjourney
Danny smiles. “Dad, in the Bible, I noticed that Jesus, Moses, and Samson all had long hair.”
His father nods, “Yes, but did you also notice they walked everywhere?”
And now, let’s end on a high note with a husband who’s in for a surprise of his own while Christmas shopping.
A mall decorated for Christmas | Source: Pexels
Just when he thinks he’s found a sentimental moment, he gets a reality check guaranteed to leave you laughing out loud.
The Husband’s Christmas Misunderstanding
A couple is shopping at the mall on Christmas Eve when the husband realizes he’s lost his wife. Frantic, he calls her.
“Honey,” she says calmly, “do you remember the jewelry store where you saw that expensive watch you loved five years ago? The one I said I’d get you one day?”
A man speaking on his cell phone | Source: Midjourney
His eyes well up. “Yes, I remember.”
“Well,” she replies, “I’m in the lingerie store next to it.”
And there you have it — a sleigh of laughs to brighten your holiday season! Whether you share these jokes at a family dinner or use them to lighten the mood at a holiday party, they’re sure to spread some Christmas cheer.
People at a Christmas party | Source: Midjourney
After all, the best gifts are the ones that bring a smile. So go ahead, share the laughter, and enjoy a merry, jolly, joke-filled Christmas!
For many people, Christmas is a time for family, so keep the laughs coming with these jokes about family life.
Boy Drops a Letter into an Abandoned House’s Mailbox, Receives a Mysterious Reply the Next Day — Story of the Day
Six-year-old Ethan had recently lost his mother, leaving a deep void in his heart. In his grief, he started writing letters to her, pouring out his feelings on paper. One day, while wandering the streets, he stumbled upon an old, rusty mailbox at an abandoned house. He decided to slip one of his letters inside, never expecting anyone to see it. To his astonishment, the very next day, he found a mysterious reply waiting for him.
Ethan, a six-year-old little boy with curly brown hair, felt a constant weight on his chest since his mother passed away. His father, Jacob, seemed lost in his world of grief.
Jacob used to be a lively and attentive father, but now he barely noticed Ethan, spending most of his time staring at old photos or working late to avoid the empty house.
“Mom, I miss you so much,” Ethan whispered to his toy car.
He often imagined his mother traveling with him in the little car.
For illustration purposes only | Source: Pexels
Ethan missed her gentle voice, warm hugs, and reading bedtime stories with her every night. In his loneliness, he began writing letters to her.
“Dear Mom,
Today was another hard day without you. I miss you so much. Dad is really sad too. I don’t think he notices me much anymore. I wish you were here to hug me and tell me everything will be okay.
Love, Ethan”
For illustration purposes only | Source: Midjourney
He poured his heart into those letters and hoped she would hear him.
One day, while wandering around his neighborhood, Ethan stumbled upon an old, abandoned house. The paint was peeling, the windows were boarded up, and the garden was overgrown with weeds.
“Hey, Mom,” Ethan said to his toy car, “look at this old house. It’s kind of spooky but also cool, right?”
For illustration purposes only | Source: Pexels
He walked closer, curiosity driving him.
Ethan saw the rusty mailbox at the front gate. That day, he had brought one of his letters with him, tucked safely in his jeans pocket, intending to read it to his mom in a quiet spot. Ethan just slipped it inside the mailbox, thinking no one would ever see him.
“Mom, I’m leaving this letter here,” he whispered. “It will be our secret.”
For illustration purposes only | Source: Midjourney
He took a step back and looked at the house again.
“Do you think anyone lives here?” he asked his car, imagining his mother’s voice answering. “Probably not, but it’s a good place for my letter.”
Ethan stood there for a moment longer, feeling a bit silly but also comforted by the act.
“Okay, let’s go home now,” he said to the car. “Maybe we’ll come back tomorrow.”
As he walked home, his mind wandered to thoughts of his mother, picturing her reading his letter and smiling.
For illustration purposes only | Source: Pexels
“I hope you like my letters, Mom,” he whispered, clutching the toy car even tighter. “I’ll keep writing them, I promise.”
When he reached his house, his dad was still sitting at the table in the living room. Ethan paused at the doorway, watching his father for a moment.
“Dad,” he said quietly, but Jacob didn’t respond. Sighing, Ethan headed to his room, pulling out another piece of paper to write another letter to his mom.
For illustration purposes only | Source: Pexels
“Dear Mom,” he began, “I found a new place to leave my letters for you. It’s an old, abandoned house, and it feels like a special spot just for us…”
As he wrote, he felt the sadness lifting just a little, finding solace in the connection created, even if it was only in his imagination.
“Goodnight, Mom,” he whispered to the toy car on his bedside table before drifting off to sleep.
For illustration purposes only | Source: Midjourney
***
The next day, Ethan felt a strange urge to visit the abandoned house again. He wanted to leave his new letter in that mailbox.
As he approached the gate, he noticed something different. The mailbox was slightly open. Ethan’s heart raced as he looked around.
Inside, he found a folded piece of paper. It was a letter addressed to … him. He unfolded it and began to read.
“Dear Ethan,” it started. “Thank you for sharing your beautiful words. Your letters have touched my heart. Please don’t stop writing. With love, Clara.”
For illustration purposes only | Source: Pexels
Ethan was so absorbed in the letter that he didn’t hear the front door of the house creak open. A woman stepped out quietly.
She was older, with silver hair and kind, but sad eyes. She watched Ethan read her letter, a gentle smile forming on her face.
Suddenly, Ethan felt a presence and looked up, startled. He nearly dropped the letter.
“Oh! I’m sorry!” he exclaimed, taking a step back. “I didn’t mean to intrude.”
For illustration purposes only | Source: Midjourney
The woman held up her hand in a calming gesture. “It’s alright, dear,” she said softly. “I’m Clara. I’ve been reading your letter.”
Ethan blinked in surprise. “You…you read them?”
Clara nodded. “Yes, and they’ve brought me a lot of comfort. Your letter reminded me of my own son. I lost my family years ago.”
For illustration purposes only | Source: Pexels
“I miss my mom so much,” Ethan said, his voice barely above a whisper.
Clara stepped closer, her eyes filled with empathy.
For illustration purposes only | Source: Pexels
“I know, Ethan. Grief is a heavy burden to carry. But sharing your feelings, even through letters, can help lighten that load.”
A loud, angry voice interrupted them just then, “Clara!”
A tall, stern-looking man marched towards them. “It’s time you left, Clara,” Mr. Harrow said harshly. “You’ve had enough time to grieve. This house belonged to my brother, and now it’s mine.”
For illustration purposes only | Source: Pexels
Clara stood her ground, her eyes blazing. “There was no will, Mr. Harrow. My husband died young, along with our son. Your so-called will is a forgery!”
Mr. Harrow sneered, “You have no choice. I’m taking the house. You’ve overstayed your welcome.”
As Ethan stepped forward, trying to understand the situation, Mr. Harrow finally noticed him. “And who is this? Why are kids wandering around my property?”
For illustration purposes only | Source: Midjourney
Ethan, clutching his letter, stammered, “I…I was just leaving a letter for my mom…”
Mr. Harrow’s eyes narrowed, “Letter? What letter?”
He snatched the letter from Ethan’s hands and started tearing it up. “You’re littering this place with your trash!”
Ethan’s heart broke as he saw pieces of his letters flutter to the grass. He watched helplessly as Mr. Harrow destroyed his heartfelt messages.
For illustration purposes only | Source: Midjourney
Then Clara stepped forward and said, “How could you do that? He’s just a child, grieving his mother.”
But Ethan already run away, his mind racing.
“Why was Mr. Harrow so mean? And why did he want to remove Clara from her house? She seems so nice,” he whispered to his toy car as he ran. “Mom, what should I do?”
For illustration purposes only | Source: Pexels
He knew he had to do something, but he wasn’t sure what. All he knew was that he couldn’t let Mr. Harrow win. Clara needed help, and maybe, just maybe, his father could provide it.
Breathless, Ethan clutched his toy car tighter, “I won’t let him hurt Clara, Mom. I promise I’ll help her.”
***
Distraught, Ethan burst through the front door, tears streaming down his face.
“Dad! Dad, I need your help!” he shouted, rushing into the kitchen where Jacob was sitting.
Jacob looked up, startled, “Ethan, what’s wrong?”
For illustration purposes only | Source: Midjourney
“It’s Mr. Harrow! He wants to kick Clara out of her house! He tore up my letters, Dad. We have to help her!” Ethan pleaded.
Jacob sighed and rubbed his temples, clearly confused.
“Ethan, calm down. I don’t understand. Who is Mr. Harrow? Who is Clara? And what letters are you talking about?”
Ethan continued to cry out, his words slurred, “Clara.. abandoned … letters .. for Mom! Mr. Harrow! Tore them up!”
For illustration purposes only | Source: Pexels
Jacob didn’t want to deal with the situation and tried to calm Ethan down.
“Ethan, stop shouting. This isn’t our problem. You shouldn’t be getting involved in things that don’t concern you.”
Ethan was still in a panic and didn’t calm down. He continued to cry and plead with his father.
Jacob was frustrated and did not fully understand the situation. He took the torn pieces of the letters from Ethan’s hands. “That’s enough, Ethan. You need to go to your room and think about your behavior.”
Ethan felt utterly helpless, and ran out of the house, slamming the door behind him. His heart pounded as he ran towards the police station, determined to find someone who would listen and help Clara.
For illustration purposes only | Source: Pexels
***
When Ethan arrived at the station, which was on the next street, he breathlessly explained everything to the officer at the desk, hoping they would take action.
“Officer, please, you have to help! Mr. Harrow is trying to kick Clara out of her house! He tore up my letters, and he’s being so mean!” Ethan exclaimed, tears streaming down his face.
The officer listened patiently, nodding as Ethan spoke.
For illustration purposes only | Source: Midjourney
“Calm down, son,” he said gently. “I understand you’re upset, but Mr. Harrow has already informed us about this. He’s claiming the house is rightfully his.”
Ethan’s eyes widened in disbelief. “But Clara lives there! It’s her home!”
The officer sighed and continued, “The problem is, Clara doesn’t have any documents to prove ownership of the house. She mentioned she lost them. Without those papers, there’s not much we can do.”
For illustration purposes only | Source: Midjourney
Ethan felt a lump in his throat, “But that’s not fair! She’s lived there for so long! You have to help her!”
The officer shook his head sympathetically. “I’m sorry, Ethan. I know this is hard for you to understand, but without those documents, Mr. Harrow has the legal right to the property. It’s best if you go home now. I’ll walk you back.”
Feeling defeated, Ethan nodded slowly.
“Okay,” he whispered, his voice trembling. The officer took Ethan’s hand and guided him out of the station.
For illustration purposes only | Source: Midjourney
***
When they arrived at his house, a worried Jacob had just returned home.
“Ethan, where have you been?” he demanded. “I’ve been searching for you at all the neighbors’ houses.”
Ethan looked down, “I went to the police, Dad. I thought they could help.”
Jacob sighed deeply and pulled Ethan into a hug, “I’m not mad, Ethan. I just don’t want you to get hurt.”
For illustration purposes only | Source: Midjourney
Jacob glanced at the letters on the kitchen table, the ones he had found when Ethan ran away. He had read a few of them and realized how much empathy and love Ethan had in his heart and how little attention he had been giving to his son’s feelings and struggles.
After a long moment of silence, Jacob made a decision.
“Alright, Ethan. Let’s go talk to Clara. She can stay with us until we figure this out.”
Ethan’s eyes lit up with hope. “Really, Dad?”
Jacob nodded, a small smile on his face, “Yes, really. Let’s go help her.”
For illustration purposes only | Source: Pexels
Father and son walked back to Clara’s house together, ready to offer her the shelter and support she needed.
Little did they know, Mr. Harrow, hidden in the shadows, was watching them with narrowed eyes, already plotting his next move to reclaim the property. He had no intention of backing down.
***
Clara, Jacob, and Ethan began living together. The three of them quickly formed a close bond.
Every morning, Clara prepared breakfast while humming a cheerful tune. Her delicious cooking and the flowers she planted in the garden brought life back into the house.
For illustration purposes only | Source: Pexels
“Ethan, come help me plant these flowers,” Clara called out one sunny afternoon.
Ethan ran over, excited, “What kind are they, Clara?”
“These are marigolds. They’ll add a beautiful splash of color to the garden,” she replied, handing him a small shovel.
As they worked together, Ethan chatted away, pretending to talk to his toy car. “Mom, look at these flowers! Aren’t they pretty?” he whispered, imagining his mother was there with him.
For illustration purposes only | Source: Pexels
Jacob watched from the kitchen window, a small smile on his face. Clara’s presence had a calming effect on him. He found himself smiling more and even started joining Ethan and Clara for activities.
“Jacob, dinner’s ready!” Clara called out one evening.
Jacob came to the table, the aroma of Clara’s home-cooked meal filling the room. “Smells wonderful, Clara. Thank you.”
For illustration purposes only | Source: Pexels
Ethan chimed in, “Yeah, Clara, you’re the best cook ever!”
Clara laughed, a warm, hearty sound, “Thank you, Ethan. I love cooking for you both.”
After dinner, Clara and Ethan settled on the couch with a book of fairy tales.
“Once upon a time,” Clara began, and Ethan snuggled closer, listening intently. These moments became a cherished part of their daily routine. Ethan’s sadness began to lift, bit by bit, replaced by the warmth of Clara’s love and stories.
For illustration purposes only | Source: Pexels
A few months passed quickly. The legal situation with Clara’s house was resolved in her favor. The ownership documents were found in the registry, proving her rightful claim to the house. Mr. Harrow’s will was confirmed to be a forgery, and he received only a verbal warning to stay away from Clara, as she chose not to press charges against him.
Jacob and Ethan went with Clara to her house, carrying a mix of hope and sadness.
“I don’t want you to go, Clara,” Ethan said, his voice trembling.
Jacob placed a hand on Ethan’s shoulder. “We can still visit, Ethan.”
When they arrived, they were shocked to see the destruction. Mr. Harrow had demolished half of it with the help of hired workers and a crane.
For illustration purposes only | Source: Pexels
Clara’s eyes filled with tears. “How could he do this?”
Ethan looked up at his father, his eyes pleading, “Dad, we have to do something.”
Jacob’s face hardened,. “We will, Ethan. I promise.” He turned to Clara. “I’m going to personally sue Mr. Harrow for this. He won’t get away with it.”
For illustration purposes only | Source: Midjourney
Clara nodded, wiping her tears. “Thank you, Jacob.”
Jacob looked at Ethan, then back at Clara.
“You’ll stay with us. We’ll all work together to fix up your home. You’ve become a dear person to both of us, Clara.”
Then Ethan gave Clara his toy car. “You’re part of our family now,” he said, offering it as a sign of trust and acceptance. It was the most precious thing he had, symbolizing how much she meant to him and how she had become an important part of their lives.
For illustration purposes only | Source: Midjourney
Clara’s eyes softened as she hugged Ethan back. “Thank you, Ethan. Thank you, Jacob. You’ve both given me a second chance at happiness.”
Together, they headed back home, ready to face the challenges ahead. The bond they had formed was strong, and they knew that together, they could overcome anything.
As they walked, Ethan held his toy car close and whispered, “Mom, Clara is staying with us. She makes me happy, and I think you would like her too.”
For illustration purposes only | Source: Midjourney
Tell us what you think about this story, and share it with your friends. It might inspire them and brighten their day.
If you enjoyed this story, read this one: Chloe found her foster daughter, Alicia, covered in oil paint at home. She knew Alicia had been at Orin’s studio. Orin, their neighbor, was an artist in his fifties, and Chloe was in love with him. To stop Alicia from making a big mistake, Chloe was ready to reveal an old family secret. Read the full story here.
This piece is inspired by stories from the everyday lives of our readers and written by a professional writer. Any resemblance to actual names or locations is purely coincidental. All images are for illustration purposes only. Share your story with us; maybe it will change someone’s life.
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