Matt Heath: My parting message: Enjoy things while they are around

A lot of big, tragic and important things have happened to this wonderful country of ours since April 2014. None of which I have covered. I was too busy writing about hungover parenting, ancient philosophy and my dog Colin.

Out of the 536 columns I have written, 27 were about that guy. Far too few. He is such a good boy, he deserves an article a week.

Today is the end of an era for me, and whenever these final events pop up in our lives, we can’t help but think about the ultimate end.

Everything we do, we will one day do for the last time. That’s why you have to enjoy things while they are around. It’s not just big events like leaving a job, house or loved one either. Whatever moment you happen to be in now, you will never get it back, and you don’t know how many more you have.

Everything we do in life, from eating pizza to spending time with the people we love, to driving, writing, drinking or breathing, we will one day experience for the final time. It might happen tomorrow. This can be either a depressing or an inspiring thought, depending on how you look at it.

A few years back in this column, I interviewed professor of philosophy William B Irvine, of Wright State University, Ohio, on this very topic. He put it this way on a Zoom call: “Recognition of the impermanence of everything in life can invest the things we do with a significance and intensity that would otherwise be absent. The only way we can be truly alive is if we make it our business periodically to entertain thoughts of the end.”

Today’s column is very meaningful to me because it is my last. Like the last night with a lover before she goes overseas. And just like a lover, there have been some half-arsed efforts put in from me over the years. Last week, for example, I spent 750 words moaning about how bad my cricket team is. But the truth is that any of my columns could have been the final. If I had reminded myself every week for the past 10 years that the end is inevitable, I may have been more grateful for having a column and appreciated writing them all as much as I am this one.

While everything we do could have more meaning with a focus on finitude, some things are inherently more worthwhile than others. There is no doubt my column “The pros and cons of wearing Speedos” from November 2022 was less meaningful than most things in this world. That was a waste of everyone’s time. So, if we only have so much time, how do we pick the best things to do?

Well, Oliver Burkeman, the author of Four Thousand Weeks – Time Management For Mortals, suggested this to me in a 2022 column: “Ask yourself, does this choice enlarge me? You usually know on some unspoken level if it does. That’s a good way to distinguish between options.”

With that in mind, I don’t feel great about my 2018 article on “New Zealand’s best hole”. That didn’t enlarge anyone.

There will be people reading this column right now who have loved my writing in the Herald and are sad to see it end. Others will have hated it and are glad to see me go. Many won’t have any opinion at all. But for those in the first camp, I have good news. I have a book coming out on May 28 called A Life Less Punishing – 13 Ways To Love The Life You Got (Allen and Unwin Book Publishers). It’s a deep dive into the history, philosophy and science of not wasting our time lost in anger, loneliness, humiliation, stress, fear, boredom and all the other ways we find to not enjoy perfectly good lives. It’s available for pre-order right now (google it if you’re interested).

A Life Less Punishing took me two years to write and is equivalent in words to 100 of these columns. Which would be a complete nightmare for those in the hate camp, but as I say, great news for those who want more.

Anyway, thanks to the Herald for having me, thanks to the lovely people who make an effort to say nice things to me about my column nearly every day and thanks to the universe for every single second we get.

Bless!

Goldie Hawn’s 7-year-old granddaughter is pretty much a spitting image of her famous grandma

Given that Goldie Hawn is not only ageless but also has a wonderful and endearing relationship with her spouse Kurt Russell and is arguably the most entertaining person in Hollywood, you can’t help but watch her.

She is a devoted mother and grandmother to her three biological children, one stepchild, and six grandchildren, and her social media accounts reflect this.

Hollywood romances don’t usually last very long. Celebrity relationships usually come and go. Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell, though, are unquestionably an example of how to make it work even after a long marriage.

In 1983, Goldie began dating fellow Hollywood celebrity and the love of her life, Kurt Russell. More than three decades later, the pair is still deeply in love with and adores one another; they don’t even feel the need to be married.

“So as long as my emotional state is in a state of devotion, honesty, caring, and loving, then we’re fine. I like waking up every day and seeing that he is there and knowing that I have a choice. There is really no reason to marry,” Goldie told Woman’s Day in 2007.

Kurt stated, “Everyone has their marker on what is really important and where you draw the line,” in an interview with the Daily Mail in 2018. The kids come first was Goldie and my main principle.

Through the Goldie Hawn Foundation’s MindUp initiative, which she founded in 2003 to assist improve settings for kids so they may succeed in school and in life, Goldie puts the needs of all children first.

Every time you see her with her daughter Kate Hudson, a Hollywood star in her own right, you can tell how much she loves her own kids. With her second husband Bill Hudson, Goldie had a daughter named Kate and her older brother Oliver.

The amusing mother-daughter team recently made an appearance on the Ellen show, where Goldie made fun of how close she was to daughter Kate when she gave birth to Rani Rose Hudson Fujikawa, who is now one year old.

“The doctor was in there and I could see the head and then it disappeared,” Goldie animatedly declared on the show. “And I’m looking over his shoulder, then the doctor turned to me and said ‘Goldie if you get any closer you’re gonna fall in.’”

In addition, Kate has two sons: Ryder Russell, 15, and Bingham Hawn Bellamy, 8.

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