Get ready to ho-ho-howl with laughter! These 10 Christmas jokes are packed with holiday cheer and cheeky humor to keep your spirits bright. Whether you need a quick laugh or a joke to share at the holiday table, these festive funnies will surely bring everyone joy!
Ah, Christmas! The time of year when everything sparkles, people get a little more generous, and we all pretend fruitcake is something we look forward to eating.
A woman sitting at a table with a plate of fruitcake | Source: Pexels
The holiday season is full of cheer, and it’s also a great time for laughter. Whether you’re cozy by the fireplace or stuck at a family gathering looking for a way to break the ice, these jokes are sure to bring a smile.
So grab your hot cocoa, settle in, and get ready to chuckle with these festive funnies!
A Christmas Test at Heaven’s Gates
Three men find themselves at the pearly gates of heaven on Christmas Eve. Saint Peter meets them with a stern look and a challenge.
St. Peter standing at heaven’s gates | Source: Midjourney
“To get into heaven tonight, you each need to show me something that represents Christmas.”
The first man digs into his pockets, pulls out a match, and lights it. “This is a Christmas candle,” he says with a hopeful smile.
“Impressive,” Saint Peter says and waves him through.
A man holding a lit match | Source: Pexels
The second man reaches into his jacket and jangles a set of keys. “These are Christmas bells,” he grins.
Saint Peter nods, letting him pass.
Then, the third man steps up, pulling out a pair of red panties.
Puzzled, Saint Peter asks, “And what on earth do these have to do with Christmas?”
Women’s underwear | Source: Unsplash
The man smirks, “They’re Carol’s.”
If that joke didn’t light your Christmas candle, this next one might leave you laughing all the way to New Year’s Day. It’s a story of holiday hangovers, memory lapses, and a husband waking up to a Christmas surprise he definitely wasn’t expecting.
The Hungover Husband’s Christmas Surprise
Paul wakes up groggy and disoriented after his company’s Christmas party. He can barely remember how he got home, and his pounding headache isn’t helping.
A man sitting on the side of the bed | Source: Pexels
As he pries his eyes open, he notices a glass of water, two aspirin, and a single red rose on his nightstand. His clothes are neatly folded, and the room is spotless. In the bathroom, he notices he has a black eye, and his wife has left him a note on the mirror.
“Darling, breakfast is on the stove. I left early to pick up groceries for your favorite dinner tonight. I love you!”
In the kitchen, a full breakfast is waiting, and his son is already at the table.
A boy eating breakfast | Source: Midjourney
Paul asks his son, “What happened last night?”
“Well, you got home super late, totally drunk, and made a mess. You tripped over the coffee table, broke it, and smashed into the door, giving yourself that black eye.”
Confused, Paul stammers, “Then why is everything so perfect this morning?”
A confused man | Source: Midjourney
His son shrugs, “Oh, that’s easy. When Mum tried to take off your pants, you yelled, ‘Leave me alone! I’m married!’”
Let’s keep it going with a military twist on Christmas wishes. Sometimes, what you ask for isn’t exactly what you get, especially when you’re stationed away from home. This one’s for anyone who knows the struggles of life in uniform during the holidays.
The Soldier’s Christmas Wish
Two soldiers are in the mess hall chatting about past Christmas memories.
Two soldiers chatting | Source: Midjourney
“I’ll never forget that one Christmas,” the first soldier says. “I spent an entire week peeling potatoes.”
“What happened?” his friend asks.
“Well, the sergeant asked what I wanted for Christmas,” he recalls.
“And what did you ask for?”
A soldier | Source: Pexels
“A new sergeant,” the first soldier replies.
Ready for a joke that’s heaven-sent? This next story features a monk who spent years copying ancient texts, only to uncover a little mistake that could change everything. It’s a reminder that even the holiest of tasks can come with a hilarious twist!
The Monastic Misprint
A monk named David had spent years copying ancient religious texts by hand. He worked hard at his job and dedicated himself to upholding his vows to be obedient and celibate and free himself from the desire for possessions.
A devout monk working on religious texts | Source: Midjourney
One day, shortly before Christmas, the head abbot entrusted David with the task of verifying the original manuscripts had been copied and translated precisely, word-for-word.
On Christmas day, David was nowhere to be found. Eventually, the head abbot located him in the archives, crying uncontrollably.
“Brother David, what’s wrong?” the abbot asked.
“All this time… we’ve been copying it wrong,” David sobbed.
“Copying what wrong?” the abbot pressed.
A monk and an abbot looking at religious texts | Source: Midjourney
“The word wasn’t ‘celibate’… it was ‘celebrate’!”
If you thought that last one was divine, the next joke shows us that sometimes family drama isn’t what it appears to be.
The Holiday Season Break-up
The day before Christmas, a father in Brisbane calls his son in Sydney.
“Sorry to ruin your holiday,” the dad says, “but your mother and I are divorcing. I just can’t take it anymore.”
A man making a phone call | Source: Midjourney
Shocked, the son yells, “What? No, don’t do anything until I get there! I’m calling my sister.”
Moments later, the daughter phones her dad, furious. “You are NOT getting divorced! My brother and I will be there tomorrow. Don’t do a single thing!”
The father hangs up and turns to his wife.
A solemn man glancing to one side | Source: Midjourney
He grins widely and tells her, “Well, that’s our Christmas plans sorted. The kids are on their way and they’re paying for their own travel expenses!”
Let’s keep the laughs rolling with a little tale about early Christmas shopping. You know that feeling when you’re just a bit too eager to grab your gifts? Well, this next joke proves that timing is everything — even when it comes to snagging those holiday deals earlier than expected.
The Early Christmas Shopper
A man stands trial during the Christmas season. The judge asks the defendant, “Mr. Jones, what exactly are you accused of doing?”
A judge in a courtroom | Source: Midjourney
“Your honor, I was just doing my Christmas shopping early,” the man says innocently.
“There’s nothing illegal about that,” the judge replies. “What time did you start?”
“Before the store opened.”
A somber man | Source: Midjourney
Time for a trip to the airport, where holiday cheer meets travel stress in the best way possible. Even if you’re not a fan of mistletoe, this next joke might make you look twice before checking in your bags this Christmas season.
Airport Mistletoe Mishap
Dave wasn’t feeling the holiday spirit as he waited at the airport just before Christmas. He noticed some mistletoe hanging above the luggage scale.
Mistletoe at the airport | Source: Midjourney
Annoyed, he told the airline attendant, “Even if we were dating, I wouldn’t kiss you under such tacky mistletoe.”
The attendant smirked, “Sir, that mistletoe isn’t for you to kiss me. It’s there so you can kiss your luggage goodbye.”
Hold onto your Santa hats because this next joke features a kid with a very “creative” approach to getting his Christmas wishes granted.
Man talking to airline attendant at the luggage area | Source: Midjourney
When it comes to writing letters to Santa (or Jesus), this boy takes negotiation tactics to a whole new level.
The Kid’s Christmas Bargain
A little boy starts writing his Christmas letter to Santa, but his mom interrupts him.
“You’ve been so naughty this year,” she scolds. “You’d better write that letter to Jesus instead.”
A child sitting at a table | Source: Midjourney
He thinks for a moment, then begins writing to Jesus, but quickly realizes he can’t lie about being good. Frustrated, he goes for a walk to clear his mind and spots a nativity scene.
Suddenly, he snatches the statue of Mary.
Returning home, he starts his new letter: “Dear Jesus, if you ever want to see your mother again…”
From a mischievous kid to a quick-witted teen, our next joke shows that sometimes biblical excuses can go hilariously wrong.
A Christmas nativity scene | Source: Pexels
It’s a classic case of trying to outsmart a parent — only to learn an unexpected lesson.
Long Hair, Don’t Care
After acing his exams and diligently studying the Bible, Danny asks his clergyman father if he can get a car for Christmas.
“You’ve done great with your studies,” his father says. “But I’m disappointed you haven’t cut your hair.”
A teen boy | Source: Midjourney
Danny smiles. “Dad, in the Bible, I noticed that Jesus, Moses, and Samson all had long hair.”
His father nods, “Yes, but did you also notice they walked everywhere?”
And now, let’s end on a high note with a husband who’s in for a surprise of his own while Christmas shopping.
A mall decorated for Christmas | Source: Pexels
Just when he thinks he’s found a sentimental moment, he gets a reality check guaranteed to leave you laughing out loud.
The Husband’s Christmas Misunderstanding
A couple is shopping at the mall on Christmas Eve when the husband realizes he’s lost his wife. Frantic, he calls her.
“Honey,” she says calmly, “do you remember the jewelry store where you saw that expensive watch you loved five years ago? The one I said I’d get you one day?”
A man speaking on his cell phone | Source: Midjourney
His eyes well up. “Yes, I remember.”
“Well,” she replies, “I’m in the lingerie store next to it.”
And there you have it — a sleigh of laughs to brighten your holiday season! Whether you share these jokes at a family dinner or use them to lighten the mood at a holiday party, they’re sure to spread some Christmas cheer.
People at a Christmas party | Source: Midjourney
After all, the best gifts are the ones that bring a smile. So go ahead, share the laughter, and enjoy a merry, jolly, joke-filled Christmas!
For many people, Christmas is a time for family, so keep the laughs coming with these jokes about family life.
Jason Momoa Stuns the Internet with Photos of His New Girlfriend—12 Years Younger
Jason Momoa’s new relationship is making news after he shared photos of his famous girlfriend.
Fans are noticing that she looks a lot like his ex-wife and their child, which has sparked reactions online.
Some people are uncomfortable, saying that his girlfriend resembles his teenage daughter.
Jason Momoa confirmed that he is dating again. When photos of his new girlfriend surfaced on social media, fans began comparing her to his family. Some believe his ex-wife is more beautiful, while others find it unsettling that his new girlfriend looks similar to his daughter.
Jason Momoa is best known for his lead role in the 2018 film *Aquaman*, where he starred alongside Amber Heard. The two returned to their roles in the highly anticipated sequel, released five years later in 2023.
Jason Momoa was previously married to *The Cosby Show* actress, Lisa Bonet, and the two were seen as a power couple in Hollywood. Their relationship began in 2005 after they were introduced by mutual friends, and they quickly became a beloved pair in the public eye.
At the time, Lisa Bonet, who is 12 years older than Jason Momoa, was a single mother raising her teenage daughter, Zoë Kravitz. Zoë is Bonet’s daughter from her previous marriage to musician Lenny Kravitz. Despite the age difference and family dynamics, Momoa and Bonet formed a strong bond that made them one of Hollywood’s favorite couples.
Through his relationship with Lisa Bonet, Jason Momoa developed close bonds with his stepdaughter, Zoë Kravitz, and her father, Lenny Kravitz. Momoa affectionately calls Zoë “Zozo bear,” while she refers to him as “Papa bear.” Momoa has also spoken highly of Lenny Kravitz, expressing deep respect for him, and that admiration is mutual. Their blended family dynamic has often been praised for its warmth and mutual respect.
Jason Momoa, best known for his role in “Baywatch,” and Lisa Bonet officially tied the knot in October 2017 after more than a decade together. The couple welcomed two children during their relationship: daughter Lola and son Nakoa-Wolf, who are both teenagers now. Despite their eventual separation, the family remains in the public eye due to their close bond and co-parenting.
In a 2018 interview, Jason Momoa expressed his deep admiration for his marriage with Lisa Bonet, sharing how much he enjoyed their relationship. He revealed a side of Bonet many people might not know, saying, “Not a lot of people know how absolutely hysterical she is. She makes me laugh and is just really quirky.” His affectionate words highlighted the playful and humorous connection they shared throughout their time together.
The Hawaii native, Jason Momoa, also spoke highly of Lisa Bonet as a devoted mother, saying, “My wife is amazing. Her ultimate art form is being a phenomenal mother.” He admired her parenting skills and how she balanced life with their children. Momoa further emphasized their strong bond by describing their relationship as a “perfect fit,” showing the deep connection they shared as partners and parents.
“The love between us carries on, evolving in ways it wishes to be known and lived. We free each other to be who we are learning to become,” the couple shared in their joint statement, announcing their separation. Their breakup sent shockwaves among fans, as they had been seen as a strong and loving couple.
Later, an insider revealed that their split was largely due to differing lifestyles and priorities. While Momoa was focused on his booming career and travel, Bonet preferred a more low-key, grounded life, which eventually created distance between them.
“Jason is very focused on his career and wants to work. He has found success and it’s driving him and is very fulfilling. Lisa wants to be in LA and is not interested in going on location for long periods of time with him,” the source disclosed.
According to the insider, Bonet’s priorities shifted as she focused more on health and wellness, which motivated her. Since Momoa’s lifestyle didn’t align with hers, they eventually grew apart and began seeking different things.
Two years after announcing their split, Bonet officially filed for divorce in January 2024. She cited irreconcilable differences and listed October 2020 as the date of separation.
The Superior Court of California approved the divorce filing the day after Bonet submitted it. The couple had reportedly agreed on the terms of their divorce before filing, and were granted joint custody of their children. Neither child support nor spousal support was awarded.
Since the breakup, Momoa has found love again with another well-known Hollywood figure. The 32-year-old woman is also a divorcee. She was previously married to lawyer Edgardo Carnales, whom she wed in July 2019.
However, the pair, who kept their romance private, divorced in June 2023 after over three years of marriage. She listed their separation date as January 2023 and requested that both parties’ rights to support be terminated.
She once praised her famous father in an interview, saying, “He motivates me and pushes my limits, making sure I’m always growing as an artist.” Before hitting it big in Hollywood, Arjona worked as a waitress and hostess in New York City.
At the time, she was studying acting at the Lee Strasberg Theatre and Film Institute. She reflected, “I learned the value of money and working hard. It helped me because I got used to being on my feet. And I think today I can handle 16-hour days thanks to my experience as a waitress.”
The Hollywood star shared, “I have a mother who is extremely spiritual and positive. She guides me through every obstacle in my life.”
This was when the “Game of Thrones” actor went public with his new relationship with Puerto Rican actress Adria Arjona. Arjona, who is 12 years younger than him, was featured in several of his photos. In one of the pictures, she was smiling while sitting on his lap.
“She actually looks like his ex-wife Lisa Bonet, just younger,” wrote one person. Another user agreed, saying, “Looks like a younger Lisa.”
Arjona has starred in movies like “Pacific Rim: Uprising,” “Hit Man,” “Father of the Bride,” and “Triple Frontier.” Besides their shared passion for acting, she and Momoa also bond over another mutual interest.
Adria Arjona and Jason Momoa’s relationship continues to capture the public’s attention. As they share more glimpses of their life together, fans are excited to see how their love story unfolds.
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